So, this is my last and final post here on Blogger. Oh, and can you believe it?! I've had 1,000 page hits! YEEHAW!!!!!! FINALLY!!! hahaha! Sorry, but that makes me so happy to know that people actually are reading what I write about! It feels nice :-) Anyway, school has now started, and I am so excited for multiple reasons:
1. New. Music. Building. Need I say more?
2. This said new music building has 7 PRACTICE ROOMS!!! YAY!!!
3. This building will be just for music. We get our own building! How awesome is that??!
4. I'm taking 2 dance classes this semester; Ballet III and Dance Performance. Dance is awesome, what more do I need to say?
5. I get to be with all my favorite people and teachers again!
6. I'll actually have a life again! It's so sad, I know; my life doesn't begin until school starts. It's really quite tragic, actually... or maybe I'm just that big of a nerd.
And my 7th reason shall go unannounced, because I don't want to say it :-P
You know, it's weird. I've been involved with music and singing practically my whole life. Ever since I can remember (which isn't that far back, let me tell you) I've always loved to sing and perform for people.Then, when I became a part of Joyful Sound, my life was forever changed. Music suddenly was all I wanted to do, and when I began to sing solos, and do more solo performing, I suddenly started having people compliment me, and tell me how great I was. So, fast forward a couple years, and after all this time, music is still the only thing I want to do. I literally cannot go a single day without either listening to music or singing something. I just can't. I love music. It was my first love, and it will be the one thing that I love until the day I breathe my last. Music has always been there for me; it has helped me become a better musician, but it has also helped me through some hard times. Music is the one friend that I can always go to, no matter how I'm feeling. Music has helped me express who I am, it has helped me share the parts of me that I just can't express any other way but through music. Music is who I am.
And speaking of music, I have found a song that really has inspired me with its lyrics and by the voice of the singer. And since this will be my last post for this blog (I'm thinking I might do another blog on here, but not sure yet. Still undecided) I decided that this song would be very fitting for finishing up this blog. It's only been the first day of classes, and I haven't even really begun all my classes yet (tomorrow is when I have most of my classes. Tuesdays and Thursdays will be my busiest this semester) but even still, after just the first day of going back to classes, I can already tell that this semester will be interesting, both in a good way and a bad way. Sorry this post is so short, but I don't really have a lot to say at the moment. And this is where the power of music comes in. Everything that I want to say right now is all in this song. I love when that happens; finding that one song that says everything you're wanting to say. And so, here it is, my dear readers. By Leona Lewis, here is the song "Happy".
Monday, August 29, 2011
Thursday, August 25, 2011
"The Voice", School, Dance, and Other Stuff
So, I am disappointed to say that I didn't make it through the first round of auditions for "The Voice". I kind of figured that would happen anyway, so it wasn't that big of a let down for me. "American Idol" is having their auditions this week, and I had thought about going to audition, but I don't think I will. For one, I've never watched "American Idol". Don't want to, and don't really plan to, so it would be kind of weird for me to go audition for a show I don't even watch. My main reason though is that they have posted several times in their rules and eligibility forms that not everyone who registers will get to audition on the audition day, so I'm worried that I will have spent $20 for parking at the Reliant Center and wasted an entire day sitting around, waiting for my chance to audition... and then be told that they don't have time to see me. And, also, there's school. I would be really far behind in school if I made it on the show (which, it would take a miracle of God for me to get on that show, let alone any other singing TV show) but if that miracle of God DID happen, I would be missing so much school in order to be there to tape the shows and everything. So yeah, I don't think I'm going to go for that. It's not really worth my time. Still not sure if I'm going to do it or not, but I'm leaning more toward not.
Anyway, school starts next Monday! I, personally, am very excited; new music building, new student center, new classes, new books, some new clothes (some, not a lot, but enough to make a girl feel a little more confident in herself... especially when it comes to attracting the the fellas ;-) hahaha!) I got my 6 books that I will need for this semester (yeah, 6, can you believe that?! 3 for English, 2 for math and 1 for ballet. Crazy.) And I decided today that I would register for a seventh class (I was just taking 6; Math, English, Ballet, Music Lit, Chamber Singers and voice lessons) but upon the encouragement of a school friend and my mom, I decided to register for Dance Performance, where I'll be able to participate in being part of dance routines and then putting on a performance toward the end of the semester for the public. I have to say, I'm nervous and excited. Dance has just recently become a new passion of mine, but I've never really performed a dance in front of people (and no, showchoir with Joyful Sound doesn't really count) so I don't really know what to expect from myself or from the class, but I know that I need to take this class. If I'm going to major in Musical Theater, I need to be able to perform dance in front of an audience and feel comfortable doing it.
I'm really looking forward to this new semester. It's amazing how much a person can change in just the span of one year. I've changed so much since last year, and I've experienced a lot too, more than I ever thought I would experience. And when we moved back to Texas after living in Michigan for 6 years, I never could have predicted that any of the things that I've done and experienced would happen to me. For example, if I hadn't moved to Texas, there's a good chance I never would have been given the chance to get to be in musicals and to discover that I have a gift at acting. I've also made so many good, close friends here, people who I now believe that I could never live without, and I wonder what my life would be like now if we hadn't moved back to Texas back in 2006. What if we had stayed in Michigan? Who would I be? Would I be the same person I am today? I think it's safe to say, no, I wouldn't be. For instance, I could be dead. When we moved down to Texas, it was only a year later that I was put into treatment for anorexia, but then when I got out of Cadwalder after 81 days, my mom told me about auditions for a pirate musical called "The Swarthy Seadog", and as they say, the rest is history.
Well, I guess I'll end it here for tonight. I'm hoping to finish this blog soon and begin working on the other blog a little more so I can start posting in it ASAP. Until next time, ciao!
Anyway, school starts next Monday! I, personally, am very excited; new music building, new student center, new classes, new books, some new clothes (some, not a lot, but enough to make a girl feel a little more confident in herself... especially when it comes to attracting the the fellas ;-) hahaha!) I got my 6 books that I will need for this semester (yeah, 6, can you believe that?! 3 for English, 2 for math and 1 for ballet. Crazy.) And I decided today that I would register for a seventh class (I was just taking 6; Math, English, Ballet, Music Lit, Chamber Singers and voice lessons) but upon the encouragement of a school friend and my mom, I decided to register for Dance Performance, where I'll be able to participate in being part of dance routines and then putting on a performance toward the end of the semester for the public. I have to say, I'm nervous and excited. Dance has just recently become a new passion of mine, but I've never really performed a dance in front of people (and no, showchoir with Joyful Sound doesn't really count) so I don't really know what to expect from myself or from the class, but I know that I need to take this class. If I'm going to major in Musical Theater, I need to be able to perform dance in front of an audience and feel comfortable doing it.
I'm really looking forward to this new semester. It's amazing how much a person can change in just the span of one year. I've changed so much since last year, and I've experienced a lot too, more than I ever thought I would experience. And when we moved back to Texas after living in Michigan for 6 years, I never could have predicted that any of the things that I've done and experienced would happen to me. For example, if I hadn't moved to Texas, there's a good chance I never would have been given the chance to get to be in musicals and to discover that I have a gift at acting. I've also made so many good, close friends here, people who I now believe that I could never live without, and I wonder what my life would be like now if we hadn't moved back to Texas back in 2006. What if we had stayed in Michigan? Who would I be? Would I be the same person I am today? I think it's safe to say, no, I wouldn't be. For instance, I could be dead. When we moved down to Texas, it was only a year later that I was put into treatment for anorexia, but then when I got out of Cadwalder after 81 days, my mom told me about auditions for a pirate musical called "The Swarthy Seadog", and as they say, the rest is history.
Well, I guess I'll end it here for tonight. I'm hoping to finish this blog soon and begin working on the other blog a little more so I can start posting in it ASAP. Until next time, ciao!
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
New Blog, School, Dance, "The Voice" and Love
I'm getting close to finishing up this blog, and I've already got another blog currently in the works. It won't be here on Blogger though. I've found a different site for blogging, and even though I love Blogger I've decided to try this one and see how I like it. At the moment, I'm still trying to figure out how to customize it (it's more complicated than Blogger, so I might not stick with it for long.) So yeah, be on the look for that. If you are my friend on Facebook and you use FB to read my blog posts, I'll post a link on there when I've gotten the first post up. Hopefully I'll be more consistent with my posting for this new blog, since this summer I kind of slacked off on actually writing posts. I'm hoping that with school coming up soon I'll have more to talk about (my schedule, at the moment, is mostly wide open. I'm not taking as many courses in the fall, but I'm thinking that my activities outside of school will be keeping me pretty busy. Not sure what all I'll be doing outside of school, but I'm hoping to audition for Opera Leggera at the Nathaniel Center, and also I'm hoping to have another job, plus I'm wanting to be part of more dance things at the college. Yeah, this semester could be really busy, hahaha.)
Speaking of school, I can't wait for classes to start! I've been pretty bored this summer, with the exception of 'Carmen', so I will be welcoming school with open arms... until it gets close to midterms and finals. Then I won't be so happy to be in school, hahaha! Also, it's going to feel weird; Mitchell, one of our best tenors in Chamber Singers, is going off to Oklahoma State University, along with Anthony and Chelsey. I'm going to miss Mitchell :-( we all are. He's such nice guy; fun, funny, and a good singer. But, he'll be back during Christmas break so I'm sure I'll get to see him then. Also, we're getting the new music building, so that's definitely something to look forward to. But do you know what I really can't wait for? Ballet class. Yep, I have most definitely missed doing ballet this summer, so I can't wait to start up again in the fall. I never thought that I would like doing ballet, but now that I've got my dream of becoming a star on Broadway, the ability to be able to dance has suddenly become very important to me. I want to be a Triple Threat (that means, a person who can act, sing AND dance. If you can do all three of those, you can really go places in the musical industry.)
So, guess what? I've got an audition for NBC's newest talent competition show "The Voice". I'm not sure how many of you have heard of it or seen it, but you should check it out some time. It's brand new, they just finished with their first Season, and this Wednesday they are coming to Houston to hold auditions for Season 2. I have to be honest; I'm freaking out. I'm so nervous about this! Basically, I'm auditioning to audition to be on the show... if that makes any sense. I have to audition for the producers and other people who run the show, and then if I make it through the open auditions, I could get a callback, and if I make it through the callbacks, then I'll be going on the TV show. But first, I just want to make it through the first round of auditions. I have to prepare 2 a cappella songs to sing, and I've decided on singing "People" and "My Man" by Barbra Streisand. Yeah, I realize it's probably risky going with Barbra. After all, she's a legend! But those 2 songs are really good for my voice and they really show off my range, plus I love the lyrics and I can sing those songs right from my heart.
And now, that crazy little thing called Love. As I sit here, trying to figure out exactly what to say, I can't help but think about what happened a year ago this month. Thinking about it brings back a lot of memories; painful memories. Memories that, no matter how hard you try, no matter what you do to try and erase them from your mind you just can't rid yourself of them. Maybe years from now I'll forget everything... or not. You would have thought that after a year I would have gotten through this. On the contrary. Sure, the pain is not as intense as it was a year ago. A year ago, I found myself going into a downward spiral, fighting off depression and trying to move through the initial stages of grief. Now I'm okay... mostly. Yes, the feelings I had for him are gone, that's for sure. But the hurt is still there, waiting in the darkest corners of my mind. It's like a cottonmouth snake. You're walking along, not a care in the world, when suddenly BAM! You're face-to-face with a white mouth and fangs, ready to inject its poison into you if you take another step (this actually happened to me a few months ago. Ran into a cottonmouth while I was walking along the shore of Lake Houston. Scared the hell out of me, and I ran away from that thing as fast as I could. After my heart stopped pounding, however, I kind of wanting to go back and get a better look at it, but then I realize that I was not Steve Irwin so I probably shouldn't.)
Anyway, snakes aside, as I stated in my last 2 posts, I have found myself once again bitten by the Love Bug. It's funny how you can find love in that one person you never expected to have feelings for. It was never supposed to happen; I was never supposed to have feelings for this person. But, as a series of events came along, I suddenly found myself constantly thinking about him, talking about him, and even having some dreams about him. Before I knew what was happening, I had completely fallen for the guy. It's hard to tell if he feels the same way; guys are hard to read most of the time. But I'm sure time will reveal everything. It usually does, for better or for worse. But I hope it's for better, hahaha :-)
Well, I guess that's it for now. I've got my audition for "The Voice" tomorrow, and it still hasn't quite sunk it that I'm actually going to audition for a TV singing competition, but I'm sure it will once I get to the audition and I'm singing in front of the producers of the show. Then I'll be thinking "Oh God... I'm ACTUALLY doing this..." And then I'll start freaking out, hahaha! Anyway, I guess I'll go for now. I'll be sure to post later on this week if I make it to the callbacks. Until then, later!
Speaking of school, I can't wait for classes to start! I've been pretty bored this summer, with the exception of 'Carmen', so I will be welcoming school with open arms... until it gets close to midterms and finals. Then I won't be so happy to be in school, hahaha! Also, it's going to feel weird; Mitchell, one of our best tenors in Chamber Singers, is going off to Oklahoma State University, along with Anthony and Chelsey. I'm going to miss Mitchell :-( we all are. He's such nice guy; fun, funny, and a good singer. But, he'll be back during Christmas break so I'm sure I'll get to see him then. Also, we're getting the new music building, so that's definitely something to look forward to. But do you know what I really can't wait for? Ballet class. Yep, I have most definitely missed doing ballet this summer, so I can't wait to start up again in the fall. I never thought that I would like doing ballet, but now that I've got my dream of becoming a star on Broadway, the ability to be able to dance has suddenly become very important to me. I want to be a Triple Threat (that means, a person who can act, sing AND dance. If you can do all three of those, you can really go places in the musical industry.)
So, guess what? I've got an audition for NBC's newest talent competition show "The Voice". I'm not sure how many of you have heard of it or seen it, but you should check it out some time. It's brand new, they just finished with their first Season, and this Wednesday they are coming to Houston to hold auditions for Season 2. I have to be honest; I'm freaking out. I'm so nervous about this! Basically, I'm auditioning to audition to be on the show... if that makes any sense. I have to audition for the producers and other people who run the show, and then if I make it through the open auditions, I could get a callback, and if I make it through the callbacks, then I'll be going on the TV show. But first, I just want to make it through the first round of auditions. I have to prepare 2 a cappella songs to sing, and I've decided on singing "People" and "My Man" by Barbra Streisand. Yeah, I realize it's probably risky going with Barbra. After all, she's a legend! But those 2 songs are really good for my voice and they really show off my range, plus I love the lyrics and I can sing those songs right from my heart.
And now, that crazy little thing called Love. As I sit here, trying to figure out exactly what to say, I can't help but think about what happened a year ago this month. Thinking about it brings back a lot of memories; painful memories. Memories that, no matter how hard you try, no matter what you do to try and erase them from your mind you just can't rid yourself of them. Maybe years from now I'll forget everything... or not. You would have thought that after a year I would have gotten through this. On the contrary. Sure, the pain is not as intense as it was a year ago. A year ago, I found myself going into a downward spiral, fighting off depression and trying to move through the initial stages of grief. Now I'm okay... mostly. Yes, the feelings I had for him are gone, that's for sure. But the hurt is still there, waiting in the darkest corners of my mind. It's like a cottonmouth snake. You're walking along, not a care in the world, when suddenly BAM! You're face-to-face with a white mouth and fangs, ready to inject its poison into you if you take another step (this actually happened to me a few months ago. Ran into a cottonmouth while I was walking along the shore of Lake Houston. Scared the hell out of me, and I ran away from that thing as fast as I could. After my heart stopped pounding, however, I kind of wanting to go back and get a better look at it, but then I realize that I was not Steve Irwin so I probably shouldn't.)
Anyway, snakes aside, as I stated in my last 2 posts, I have found myself once again bitten by the Love Bug. It's funny how you can find love in that one person you never expected to have feelings for. It was never supposed to happen; I was never supposed to have feelings for this person. But, as a series of events came along, I suddenly found myself constantly thinking about him, talking about him, and even having some dreams about him. Before I knew what was happening, I had completely fallen for the guy. It's hard to tell if he feels the same way; guys are hard to read most of the time. But I'm sure time will reveal everything. It usually does, for better or for worse. But I hope it's for better, hahaha :-)
Well, I guess that's it for now. I've got my audition for "The Voice" tomorrow, and it still hasn't quite sunk it that I'm actually going to audition for a TV singing competition, but I'm sure it will once I get to the audition and I'm singing in front of the producers of the show. Then I'll be thinking "Oh God... I'm ACTUALLY doing this..." And then I'll start freaking out, hahaha! Anyway, I guess I'll go for now. I'll be sure to post later on this week if I make it to the callbacks. Until then, later!
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
I Can't Believe My Heart
So, I stumbled upon this song the other day, and now it's been added to my list of favorites, hahaha. I'm sure at least some of you have either heard of or seen the Disney movie 'Hercules'. Well, this song was apparently supposed to be the song that Meg was going to sing instead of the infamous 'I Won't Say I'm In Love', but because it's a ballad, the producers claimed that Meg wasn't a ballad type of girl. I don't care what the producers or anyone thinks, this song is beautiful! And so, here ya go! The deleted song from Disney's animated motion picture, 'Hercules'.
Sunday, August 7, 2011
Facing The Truth
It's time to face that one thing that all of us fear. That one thing that none of us really want to face. It's time to look it straight in the eye and hold your ground. It's time to face facts. It's time to bring all anger, bitterness, rage, malice, wrath, hurt, pain and any and all forms of hatred to an end. It's time we faced our giants, our fears, our boogeymen hiding under our beds, and our worst nightmares. It's time to realize the truth. Yes, my friends, the truth. The total, absolute, complete and utter truth. I've had to face the truth about something very painful and personal tonight. In fact, I'm facing it right now, even as I type this.
It's hurting. It's killing me. It's hell. But I have to do it. Face the truth. Face the facts. I've learned something tonight about someone. And it's killing me. I can almost feel my heart screaming in pain as the flames of truth burn it alive. They say that the truth hurts, but they never said that it could kill you. And the thing is, what I'm learning right now shouldn't even be having any kind of affect on me. After all, it's over. It's been over for a year now. That chapter of my life is closed, or should I say, he closed it for me, before I even could get to the end of the first chapter. I never did get to see how that story would have ended. I'm currently listening to "The Book of My Life" by Sting and the lyrics ring very true, especially in this moment as I'm letting the truth settle in. It's not easy, I can assure you.
It's not easy to read about how your first love has moved on and found love in someone else. It's not easy to read about how happy he is now without me. It's not easy to know that, just a year ago, that was me that he he supposedly "cared about". It's not easy to read the words that he has typed about how he feels about her, about how he's falling in love with her. It's killing me. Yes, I know, it's been a year now. Yes, I know now that it never would have worked between us. We both wanted different things in life, and I'm one hundred percent sure that we both still do. Yes, we haven't actually spoken face-to-face in I don't know how many months now. Yes, I'm completely and totally in love with another man now, a man who is everything I've ever wanted and more. Yes, all of these facts are true. And yet...Why does the truth hurt so much?
Maybe it hurts because he was my first. He was the first kiss, the first boyfriend, the first everything. And, if you asked certain people, I'm pretty sure that these certain would tell you that he was the first guy I ever loved. Apparently I was head over heels in love with him, but I just can't seem to go back to the days I spent with him. Sure, a few stick out in my memory and those always will, but everything else is blank. Maybe it's because I've hidden everything else in that little box of memories in my mind that is pushed to the very, very, VERY back of my mind, that box that I don't want to open ever again. Other memories are there too; memories of CBC, of my years struggling with anorexia. You know, those memories that are too painful to go back and visit because you know that if you do, you'll break down, cry and scream because it hurts too much, it kills you to go back to that dark place.
At this moment, it's 10:09 PM on a Sunday night. I'm sitting alone in my living room, with Sting and the TV as my only companions. Everyone else is sleeping in my house. No one knows of the truth that I've just learned, of the pain that my heart is enduring for the sake of moving on with my life. I tried to tell myself, "Just read it, go ahead. Maybe this will help you move on. He's obviously moved on, and what about you? Isn't it time you moved on and let go? This will help, surely it will." Yes, I'm sure it will, in time. But right now, it's killing me. I'm having to force myself to read the post, re-reading all the words that are like daggers in my heart. Words like "love", "us", "together", "proud". And there's a small mention of me, but my name isn't there, no. I'm simply the "last girlfriend". So, that's all I am now. That's all I'll ever be to him. I'm not a name, I'm not Erin. I'm simply the "last girlfriend". Want to know how that makes me feel? Well, right now I'm thinking some not so nice words, and I'm wanting to scream, rip my hair out and cry. That's what part of me wants to do, in all honesty. But I won't do that, nope.
I'm simply going to let it all sink in, listen to "The Book of My Life" a couple more times, then I'm going to go get ready for bed and watch Animal Planet, or maybe Nick at Nite or the History Channel, and then I'm going to sleep and wake up tomorrow and live my life. Yeah, it's not going to be easy. It hasn't been easy to live my life ever since the break up. But, I don't really have a choice, do I? I can either choose to continue to live my life the way I think I should, or I can stop living. There's no other choice. And I've got too much to live for to stop living, so I think I'll keep on keeping on.
Well, I guess it's about time to start settling down for the night. I actually get to sleep in tomorrow, hahaha! That will be nice. Good night, everyone!
It's hurting. It's killing me. It's hell. But I have to do it. Face the truth. Face the facts. I've learned something tonight about someone. And it's killing me. I can almost feel my heart screaming in pain as the flames of truth burn it alive. They say that the truth hurts, but they never said that it could kill you. And the thing is, what I'm learning right now shouldn't even be having any kind of affect on me. After all, it's over. It's been over for a year now. That chapter of my life is closed, or should I say, he closed it for me, before I even could get to the end of the first chapter. I never did get to see how that story would have ended. I'm currently listening to "The Book of My Life" by Sting and the lyrics ring very true, especially in this moment as I'm letting the truth settle in. It's not easy, I can assure you.
It's not easy to read about how your first love has moved on and found love in someone else. It's not easy to read about how happy he is now without me. It's not easy to know that, just a year ago, that was me that he he supposedly "cared about". It's not easy to read the words that he has typed about how he feels about her, about how he's falling in love with her. It's killing me. Yes, I know, it's been a year now. Yes, I know now that it never would have worked between us. We both wanted different things in life, and I'm one hundred percent sure that we both still do. Yes, we haven't actually spoken face-to-face in I don't know how many months now. Yes, I'm completely and totally in love with another man now, a man who is everything I've ever wanted and more. Yes, all of these facts are true. And yet...Why does the truth hurt so much?
Maybe it hurts because he was my first. He was the first kiss, the first boyfriend, the first everything. And, if you asked certain people, I'm pretty sure that these certain would tell you that he was the first guy I ever loved. Apparently I was head over heels in love with him, but I just can't seem to go back to the days I spent with him. Sure, a few stick out in my memory and those always will, but everything else is blank. Maybe it's because I've hidden everything else in that little box of memories in my mind that is pushed to the very, very, VERY back of my mind, that box that I don't want to open ever again. Other memories are there too; memories of CBC, of my years struggling with anorexia. You know, those memories that are too painful to go back and visit because you know that if you do, you'll break down, cry and scream because it hurts too much, it kills you to go back to that dark place.
At this moment, it's 10:09 PM on a Sunday night. I'm sitting alone in my living room, with Sting and the TV as my only companions. Everyone else is sleeping in my house. No one knows of the truth that I've just learned, of the pain that my heart is enduring for the sake of moving on with my life. I tried to tell myself, "Just read it, go ahead. Maybe this will help you move on. He's obviously moved on, and what about you? Isn't it time you moved on and let go? This will help, surely it will." Yes, I'm sure it will, in time. But right now, it's killing me. I'm having to force myself to read the post, re-reading all the words that are like daggers in my heart. Words like "love", "us", "together", "proud". And there's a small mention of me, but my name isn't there, no. I'm simply the "last girlfriend". So, that's all I am now. That's all I'll ever be to him. I'm not a name, I'm not Erin. I'm simply the "last girlfriend". Want to know how that makes me feel? Well, right now I'm thinking some not so nice words, and I'm wanting to scream, rip my hair out and cry. That's what part of me wants to do, in all honesty. But I won't do that, nope.
I'm simply going to let it all sink in, listen to "The Book of My Life" a couple more times, then I'm going to go get ready for bed and watch Animal Planet, or maybe Nick at Nite or the History Channel, and then I'm going to sleep and wake up tomorrow and live my life. Yeah, it's not going to be easy. It hasn't been easy to live my life ever since the break up. But, I don't really have a choice, do I? I can either choose to continue to live my life the way I think I should, or I can stop living. There's no other choice. And I've got too much to live for to stop living, so I think I'll keep on keeping on.
Well, I guess it's about time to start settling down for the night. I actually get to sleep in tomorrow, hahaha! That will be nice. Good night, everyone!
The Book of My Life
Well, this blog is almost finished, since I'm only five more posts away from 100 posts. Don't know yet if I'll write a third one or what I'll call it if I do write another one, but I'll figure that out when the times comes, if it does. Anyway, the summer is almost over, thank goodness. This has probably been one of the worst summers ever, mainly because dad still hasn't found a job (well, he DID find one, but then about a week after he started, the company had to close down, so then it was back to square one), and we have had more car problems this summer than I can begin to count. We have now lost the Lumina, the blue car that I have been driving since I got my license. There were too many problems that needed to be fixed and it would have cost more to fix it than what the car is actually worth, so we're just going to scrap it, get what we can for it and start looking for another car for me. The only good thing I had this summer was 'Carmen'. That saved me. If it hadn't been for going to rehearsals 3 days a week, I know I would have completely lost whatever sanity I have left in me.
I've been thinking about a lot of things lately; work, money, and my future mostly. At the moment, my future is a blank canvas. I don't know what is going to happen. Sure, I have some plans, but nothing ever goes completely according to plan. That's just how life is, and I'm starting to realize that. The way the world is right now, everything looks very bleak and ominous; nothing is sure, nothing certain but death and nothing is stable and strong. Everything breaks, ends, dies. Nothing is sacred anymore. Everywhere I go these days it seems that everyone is depressed or stressing about something. No one is happy, and nothing is good. There is no good news, there is no joy or happiness; only depression, sadness, sorrow, death, failure, stress, poverty, hunger, thirst, you name it. But there is no joy. Everyone is affected by the bleak economy, even the rich. There is no silver lining, no rainbow after the rain; only never ending storms and black clouds.
There's a lot more things I've been thinking about, or rather I should say, there's a couple people I've been thinking about a lot lately, one in particular. However, due to unforeseen circumstances, I will refrain from speaking about this person, although I'm sure everyone knows already who that person is. Either way, I will refrain from talking about this person in any more of my posts. Simple as that. By the way, I'm in love. Yep, you read that correctly. I'm in love. And that, my dear readers, is as much as I'm going to say. But, yes, I am in love. And I must say that, despite all of the chaos, the anxiety, the depression, the sadness, and everything bad or horrible in this world these days, all of that fades away when I'm with this person (yes, this person is a guy, just to clarify for those of you who were perhaps wondering, hahaha. Yeah, I don't swing that way.) I have this feeling of completion when I'm with this person, like I've found my missing puzzle piece. And, now I will talk no more of this person. I can't. Not because I don't want to, but because there are persons that have forced me to refrain from posting about this particular person.
Anyway, I've also been listening to a variety of music lately; French love songs, songs by Sting, classic Disney songs, songs from 'Les Miserables', basically a very strange variety. I suppose it's because I'm becoming more aware of how music affects my life, my thoughts, my emotions. It affects you more than you realize; a certain song will give you certain thoughts, different memories, different emotions, and another song will give you another set of certain thoughts, memories and emotions. It's quite amazing, really. Simple, but amazing. Music is becoming more of my passion rather than just a hobby. Sure, music has always been my first love, but now I'm starting to feel consumed by it, in a good way. I wouldn't want it any other way. Music is now touching every area of my life, personal and social life. Songs, lyrics, melodies, all of it swirls around in my head throughout the day, and I'm slowly beginning to use songs to say things if I find that I have no words that I can use to express what I'm feeling. Some would say this is a dangerous place to be, but I find it to be very exciting, exhilarating. After all, music is my life. It's what I've always wanted. And it will always be a major part of my life.
Wow, I've said a lot, for someone who hasn't posted in forever! Well, I've got a couple songs I want to share with you. The first 2 are in French, and sorry they don't have the English translation with it, but the music itself is so beautiful that you probably won't even care about what the words mean, haha. The third one is a song by Sting, and it is the reason behind this post title. I highly, highly, HIGHLY recommend that you take a listen to this song. The lyrics are very powerful, and they can and do apply to everyone, no matter who you are. It may not be your type of music, but I suggest you take a listen anyway. I've never heard a song like this before, one that has touched me so personally. It's hard to explain exactly what this song has done to me; it's something you have to experience for yourself, and maybe it won't affect you the way it has me but I think you should still listen, at least once. I think the lyrics basically sum up everything about life.
Well, I guess that's it for now, dear readers. Hopefully I'll be able to write more once school gets closer (I go back on August 29th.) Ciao! :-)
I've been thinking about a lot of things lately; work, money, and my future mostly. At the moment, my future is a blank canvas. I don't know what is going to happen. Sure, I have some plans, but nothing ever goes completely according to plan. That's just how life is, and I'm starting to realize that. The way the world is right now, everything looks very bleak and ominous; nothing is sure, nothing certain but death and nothing is stable and strong. Everything breaks, ends, dies. Nothing is sacred anymore. Everywhere I go these days it seems that everyone is depressed or stressing about something. No one is happy, and nothing is good. There is no good news, there is no joy or happiness; only depression, sadness, sorrow, death, failure, stress, poverty, hunger, thirst, you name it. But there is no joy. Everyone is affected by the bleak economy, even the rich. There is no silver lining, no rainbow after the rain; only never ending storms and black clouds.
There's a lot more things I've been thinking about, or rather I should say, there's a couple people I've been thinking about a lot lately, one in particular. However, due to unforeseen circumstances, I will refrain from speaking about this person, although I'm sure everyone knows already who that person is. Either way, I will refrain from talking about this person in any more of my posts. Simple as that. By the way, I'm in love. Yep, you read that correctly. I'm in love. And that, my dear readers, is as much as I'm going to say. But, yes, I am in love. And I must say that, despite all of the chaos, the anxiety, the depression, the sadness, and everything bad or horrible in this world these days, all of that fades away when I'm with this person (yes, this person is a guy, just to clarify for those of you who were perhaps wondering, hahaha. Yeah, I don't swing that way.) I have this feeling of completion when I'm with this person, like I've found my missing puzzle piece. And, now I will talk no more of this person. I can't. Not because I don't want to, but because there are persons that have forced me to refrain from posting about this particular person.
Anyway, I've also been listening to a variety of music lately; French love songs, songs by Sting, classic Disney songs, songs from 'Les Miserables', basically a very strange variety. I suppose it's because I'm becoming more aware of how music affects my life, my thoughts, my emotions. It affects you more than you realize; a certain song will give you certain thoughts, different memories, different emotions, and another song will give you another set of certain thoughts, memories and emotions. It's quite amazing, really. Simple, but amazing. Music is becoming more of my passion rather than just a hobby. Sure, music has always been my first love, but now I'm starting to feel consumed by it, in a good way. I wouldn't want it any other way. Music is now touching every area of my life, personal and social life. Songs, lyrics, melodies, all of it swirls around in my head throughout the day, and I'm slowly beginning to use songs to say things if I find that I have no words that I can use to express what I'm feeling. Some would say this is a dangerous place to be, but I find it to be very exciting, exhilarating. After all, music is my life. It's what I've always wanted. And it will always be a major part of my life.
Wow, I've said a lot, for someone who hasn't posted in forever! Well, I've got a couple songs I want to share with you. The first 2 are in French, and sorry they don't have the English translation with it, but the music itself is so beautiful that you probably won't even care about what the words mean, haha. The third one is a song by Sting, and it is the reason behind this post title. I highly, highly, HIGHLY recommend that you take a listen to this song. The lyrics are very powerful, and they can and do apply to everyone, no matter who you are. It may not be your type of music, but I suggest you take a listen anyway. I've never heard a song like this before, one that has touched me so personally. It's hard to explain exactly what this song has done to me; it's something you have to experience for yourself, and maybe it won't affect you the way it has me but I think you should still listen, at least once. I think the lyrics basically sum up everything about life.
Well, I guess that's it for now, dear readers. Hopefully I'll be able to write more once school gets closer (I go back on August 29th.) Ciao! :-)
Sunday, July 24, 2011
Saturday, July 23, 2011
Angels
Found this song a few days ago and I really like the lyrics. They definitely say exactly what my heart has been screaming lately...
Favorite Quotes
My favorite quotes:
"Hearts will never be practical until they can be made unbreakable. " ~ The Wonderful Wizard of Oz
"There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness." ~ Friedrich Nietzsche
"'Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all." ~ Alfred Lord Tennyson
"There are two means of refuge from the misery of life - music and cats." ~ Albert Schweitzer
"Your heart just breaks, that's all. But you can't judge or point fingers. You just have to be lucky enough to find someone who appreciates you." ~ Audrey Hepburn.
"I am simple, complex, generous, selfish, unattractive, beautiful, lazy, and driven." ~ Barbra Streisand
"I was born with an enormous need for affection, and a terrible need to give it." ~ Audrey Hepburn.
"The world's a stage, but the play is badly cast." ~ Oscar Wilde
"Love has nothing to do with what you are expecting to get-- only what you are expecting to give--which is everything. What you will get in return varies. But it really has no connection with what you give. You give because you love and can not help giving." ~ Audrey Hepburn
“Love comes when manipulation stops; when you think more about the other person than about his or her reactions to you. When you dare to reveal yourself fully. When you dare to be vulnerable." ~ Dr. Joyce Brothers
"There is sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are messengers of overwhelming grief... and unspeakable love." ~ Washington Irving
“Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-
"Always believe in yourself. Do this and no matter where you are, you will have nothing to fear." ~ The Baron from 'The Cat Returns'
"In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on." ~ Robert Frost
"I'm not a hopeless romantic. I'm just hopeless." ~ Me
"I am an angel, fallen from grace.
And in the eyes of God and man, I am a disgrace." ~ Me
"Every man dies. Not every man really lives." ~ William Wallace
"*gasp* Ohmygosh! 50 First Dates! *gasp* Ohmygosh! The penguin just got hit!" ~ Daniel Gruber :P
"I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best." ~ Marilyn Monroe
"I have feelings too. I am still human. All I want is to be loved, for myself and for my talent. " ~ Marilyn Monroe
"I am good, but not an angel. I do sin, but I am not the devil. I am just a small girl in a big world trying to find someone to love." ~ Marilyn Monroe
"Ever notice how 'What the hell' is always the right answer?" ~ Marilyn Monroe
"Beneath the makeup and behind the smile I'm just a girl who wishes for the world." ~ Marilyn Monroe
"The aim and final end of all music should be none other than the glory of God and the refreshment of the soul." ~ Johann Sebastian Bach
"Music is the one incorporeal entrance into the higher world of knowledge which comprehends mankind but which mankind cannot comprehend." ~ Ludwig van Beethoven, quoted by Bettina von Arnin, letter to Goethe, 1810
"Though everything else may appear shallow and repulsive, even the smallest task in music is so absorbing, and carries us so far away from town, country, earth, and all worldly things, that it is truly a blessed gift of God." ~ Felix Mendelssohn
"Some people come into our lives, leave footprints on our hearts, and we are never the same." ~ Franz Schubert
"Music presents at once the intensity and the expression of feeling. It is the embodied and intelligible essence of feeling, capable of being apprehended by our sense. It permeates them like a dart, like a ray, like a mist, like a spirit, and fills our soul." ~ Franz Liszt
"There is nothing more important in life than love." ~ Barbra Streisand
"Acting is not about being someone different. It's finding the similarity in what is apparently different, then finding myself in there." ~ Meryl Streep
"I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying."~ Oscar Wilde
"Be yourself; everyone else is already taken." ~ Oscar Wilde
"If you can learn to love yourself and all the flaws, you can love other people so much better. And that makes you so happy." ~ Kristin Chenoweth
"Beauty is not everything!" ~ Chita Rivera
"It is every woman's dream to be some man's dream woman." ~ Barbra Streisand
"I believe in pink. I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner. I believe in kissing, kissing a lot. I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day and I believe in miracles." ~ Audrey Hepburn
"People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed, and redeemed; never throw out anyone." ~ Audrey Hepburn
"The beauty of a woman must be seen from in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides." ~ Audrey Hepburn
"Despite everything, I still believe that people are really good at heart." ~ Anne Frank
"All your dreams can come true if you have the courage to pursue them." ~ Walt Disney
"All that we see or seem is but a dream within a dream." ~ Edgar Allen Poe
"There are no classes in life for beginners; right away you are always asked to deal with what is most difficult." ~ Rainer Maria Rilke
"Perhaps all the dragons of our lives are princesses who are only waiting to see us once beautiful and brave." ~ Rainer Maria Rilke
"A person isn't who they are during the last conversation you had with them - they're who they've been throughout your whole relationship." ~ Rainer Maria Rilke
"For one human being to love another; that is perhaps the most difficult of all our tasks, the ultimate, the last test and proof, the work for which all other work is but preparation." ~ Rainer Maria Rilke
"I regard the theatre as the greatest of all art forms, the most immediate way in which a human being can share with another the sense of what it is to be a human being." ~ Oscar Wilde
"Keep love in your heart. A life without it is like a sunless garden when the flowers are dead. " ~ Oscar Wilde
"Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth." ~ Oscar Wilde
"I love acting. It is so much more real than life." ~ Oscar Wilde
"With any part you play, there is a certain amount of yourself in it. There has to be, otherwise it's just not acting. It's lying." ~ Johnny Depp
"All the world's a stage and most of us are desperately unrehearsed." ~ Sean O'Casey
"Where words fail, music speaks." ~ Hans Christian Anderson
"For beautiful eyes, look for the good in others; for beautiful lips, speak only words of kindness; and for poise, walk with the knowledge that you are never alone." ~ Audrey Hepburn
"I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go. Things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right. You believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together." ~ Marilyn Monroe
"If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, it's yours forever. If it doesn't, then it was never meant to be." ~ Anonymous
"In the theatre we play. That's why we call them 'plays', right? We're playing together. That's a sweet and gentle way of saying it. Except it's very real. It's grown-up play. And that's how we stay in touch with the child within us." ~ Chita Rivera, excerpt from the book 'The Alchemy of Theatre'
"You know what's wrong with you, Miss Whoever-You-Are? You're chicken, you've got no guts. You're afraid to stick out your chin and say, "Okay, life's a fact. People do fall in love, people do belong to each other, because that's the only chance anybody's got for real happiness." You call yourself a free spirit, a wild thing, and you're terrified somebody's going to stick you in a cage. Well, baby, you're already in that cage, you built it yourself. And it's not bounded in the west by Tulip, Texas, or in the east by Somali-land, it's wherever you go. Because no matter where you run, you just end up running into yourself." ~ Paul Varjak, "Breakfast At Tiffany's"
"Some pray to marry the man they love,
My prayer will somewhat vary:
I humbly pray to Heaven above
That I love the man I marry."~ Rose Stokes
"You come to love not by finding the perfect person, but by seeing an imperfect person perfectly."~ Sam Keen
"Don't try and perfect yourself for one person. Wait for the one that loves your imperfections." ~ Author unknown
"If she's amazing, she won't be easy. If she's easy, she won't be amazing. If she's worth it, you won't give up. If you give up, you're not worthy." ~ Author unknown
"You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams." ~ Dr. Seuss
"A friend will follow you when you walk away crying. A best friend will not only follow you when you walk away, but they will make you sit down and talk about what's making you cry... and then they will walk back with you, ready to help you face the world again." ~ Me
"She's delusional, sir." - Me, as Captain Solomina. (there's a funny story behind this quote LOL)
"That's why I call myself a witch now: the Wicked Witch of the West, if you want the full glory of it. As long as people are going to call you a lunatic anyway, why not get the benefit of it? It liberates you from convention." ~ Elphaba from the novel "The Life and Times of the Wicked Witch of the West"
"When hope is the cause of pain sometimes the only thing you can do, the only way to stop the pain, is to give up hope." ~ Me
"I don't cause commotions, I am one!" ~ Elphaba, 'Wicked'
"Excuse me, there is no pretense here! I happen to be genuinely shallow and deeply self-absorbed." ~ Fiyero from 'Wicked'
"Are people born Wicked? Or do they have Wickedness thrust upon them?" ~ Galinda from 'Wicked'
"First they came for the Jews, and I did not speak out because I was not a Jew. Then they came for the Communists, and I did not speak out because I was not a Communist. Then they came for the Trade Unionist, and I did not speak out because I was not Trade Unionist. Then they came for the Catholics, and I didn’t speak up because I was a Protestant. Then they came for me and there was no one left to speak for me." ~ Pastor Martin Niemöller, a victim of the Nazi regime during Hitler's reign
As many men as there are in the world,
so many thoughts are there;
each has his own heart's longing;
yet the less for him who knows many songs
and can play the harp with his hands,
he has the gift of his music which God has given him. ~ Gnomic verse from the Exeter Book
“Well is it for him who seeks mercy, comfort from the Father in heaven, where for us all security stands.” ~ from "The Wanderer"
Flower in the crannied wall,
I pluck you out of the crannies.
I hold you here, root and all, in my hand,
Little flower-- but IF I could understand
What you are, root and all, and all in all,
I should know what God and man is. ~ "Flower in the Crannied Wall" by Alfred, Lord Tennyson
The year's at the spring
And day's at the noon;
Morning's at seven;
The hillside's dew-pearled;
The lark's on the wing;
The snail's on the thorn;
God's in his heaven--
All's right with the world! ~ from "Pippa Passes" by Robert Browning
"Isn't the world full of wonderful things?" ~ Michael Crawford from 'Hello, Dolly!'
"But there comes a time when you've got to decide whether you want to be a fool among fools, or a fool alone." ~ Barbra Streisand from 'Hello, Dolly!'
"Why can't we all get back to the time where once you've said everything you want to say and you still have all this emotion, you just can't help but burst into song..." ~ Idina Menzel
"Hearts will never be practical until they can be made unbreakable. " ~ The Wonderful Wizard of Oz
"There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness." ~ Friedrich Nietzsche
"'Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all." ~ Alfred Lord Tennyson
"There are two means of refuge from the misery of life - music and cats." ~ Albert Schweitzer
"Your heart just breaks, that's all. But you can't judge or point fingers. You just have to be lucky enough to find someone who appreciates you." ~ Audrey Hepburn.
"I am simple, complex, generous, selfish, unattractive, beautiful, lazy, and driven." ~ Barbra Streisand
"I was born with an enormous need for affection, and a terrible need to give it." ~ Audrey Hepburn.
"The world's a stage, but the play is badly cast." ~ Oscar Wilde
"Love has nothing to do with what you are expecting to get-- only what you are expecting to give--which is everything. What you will get in return varies. But it really has no connection with what you give. You give because you love and can not help giving." ~ Audrey Hepburn
“Love comes when manipulation stops; when you think more about the other person than about his or her reactions to you. When you dare to reveal yourself fully. When you dare to be vulnerable." ~ Dr. Joyce Brothers
"There is sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are messengers of overwhelming grief... and unspeakable love." ~ Washington Irving
“Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-
"Always believe in yourself. Do this and no matter where you are, you will have nothing to fear." ~ The Baron from 'The Cat Returns'
"In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on." ~ Robert Frost
"I'm not a hopeless romantic. I'm just hopeless." ~ Me
"I am an angel, fallen from grace.
And in the eyes of God and man, I am a disgrace." ~ Me
"Every man dies. Not every man really lives." ~ William Wallace
"*gasp* Ohmygosh! 50 First Dates! *gasp* Ohmygosh! The penguin just got hit!" ~ Daniel Gruber :P
"I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best." ~ Marilyn Monroe
"I have feelings too. I am still human. All I want is to be loved, for myself and for my talent. " ~ Marilyn Monroe
"I am good, but not an angel. I do sin, but I am not the devil. I am just a small girl in a big world trying to find someone to love." ~ Marilyn Monroe
"Ever notice how 'What the hell' is always the right answer?" ~ Marilyn Monroe
"Beneath the makeup and behind the smile I'm just a girl who wishes for the world." ~ Marilyn Monroe
"The aim and final end of all music should be none other than the glory of God and the refreshment of the soul." ~ Johann Sebastian Bach
"Music is the one incorporeal entrance into the higher world of knowledge which comprehends mankind but which mankind cannot comprehend." ~ Ludwig van Beethoven, quoted by Bettina von Arnin, letter to Goethe, 1810
"Though everything else may appear shallow and repulsive, even the smallest task in music is so absorbing, and carries us so far away from town, country, earth, and all worldly things, that it is truly a blessed gift of God." ~ Felix Mendelssohn
"Some people come into our lives, leave footprints on our hearts, and we are never the same." ~ Franz Schubert
"Music presents at once the intensity and the expression of feeling. It is the embodied and intelligible essence of feeling, capable of being apprehended by our sense. It permeates them like a dart, like a ray, like a mist, like a spirit, and fills our soul." ~ Franz Liszt
"There is nothing more important in life than love." ~ Barbra Streisand
"Acting is not about being someone different. It's finding the similarity in what is apparently different, then finding myself in there." ~ Meryl Streep
"I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying."~ Oscar Wilde
"Be yourself; everyone else is already taken." ~ Oscar Wilde
"If you can learn to love yourself and all the flaws, you can love other people so much better. And that makes you so happy." ~ Kristin Chenoweth
"Beauty is not everything!" ~ Chita Rivera
"It is every woman's dream to be some man's dream woman." ~ Barbra Streisand
"I believe in pink. I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner. I believe in kissing, kissing a lot. I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day and I believe in miracles." ~ Audrey Hepburn
"People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed, and redeemed; never throw out anyone." ~ Audrey Hepburn
"The beauty of a woman must be seen from in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides." ~ Audrey Hepburn
"Despite everything, I still believe that people are really good at heart." ~ Anne Frank
"All your dreams can come true if you have the courage to pursue them." ~ Walt Disney
"All that we see or seem is but a dream within a dream." ~ Edgar Allen Poe
"There are no classes in life for beginners; right away you are always asked to deal with what is most difficult." ~ Rainer Maria Rilke
"Perhaps all the dragons of our lives are princesses who are only waiting to see us once beautiful and brave." ~ Rainer Maria Rilke
"A person isn't who they are during the last conversation you had with them - they're who they've been throughout your whole relationship." ~ Rainer Maria Rilke
"For one human being to love another; that is perhaps the most difficult of all our tasks, the ultimate, the last test and proof, the work for which all other work is but preparation." ~ Rainer Maria Rilke
"I regard the theatre as the greatest of all art forms, the most immediate way in which a human being can share with another the sense of what it is to be a human being." ~ Oscar Wilde
"Keep love in your heart. A life without it is like a sunless garden when the flowers are dead. " ~ Oscar Wilde
"Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth." ~ Oscar Wilde
"I love acting. It is so much more real than life." ~ Oscar Wilde
"With any part you play, there is a certain amount of yourself in it. There has to be, otherwise it's just not acting. It's lying." ~ Johnny Depp
"All the world's a stage and most of us are desperately unrehearsed." ~ Sean O'Casey
"Where words fail, music speaks." ~ Hans Christian Anderson
"For beautiful eyes, look for the good in others; for beautiful lips, speak only words of kindness; and for poise, walk with the knowledge that you are never alone." ~ Audrey Hepburn
"I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go. Things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right. You believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together." ~ Marilyn Monroe
"If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, it's yours forever. If it doesn't, then it was never meant to be." ~ Anonymous
"In the theatre we play. That's why we call them 'plays', right? We're playing together. That's a sweet and gentle way of saying it. Except it's very real. It's grown-up play. And that's how we stay in touch with the child within us." ~ Chita Rivera, excerpt from the book 'The Alchemy of Theatre'
"You know what's wrong with you, Miss Whoever-You-Are? You're chicken, you've got no guts. You're afraid to stick out your chin and say, "Okay, life's a fact. People do fall in love, people do belong to each other, because that's the only chance anybody's got for real happiness." You call yourself a free spirit, a wild thing, and you're terrified somebody's going to stick you in a cage. Well, baby, you're already in that cage, you built it yourself. And it's not bounded in the west by Tulip, Texas, or in the east by Somali-land, it's wherever you go. Because no matter where you run, you just end up running into yourself." ~ Paul Varjak, "Breakfast At Tiffany's"
"Some pray to marry the man they love,
My prayer will somewhat vary:
I humbly pray to Heaven above
That I love the man I marry."~ Rose Stokes
"You come to love not by finding the perfect person, but by seeing an imperfect person perfectly."~ Sam Keen
"Don't try and perfect yourself for one person. Wait for the one that loves your imperfections." ~ Author unknown
"If she's amazing, she won't be easy. If she's easy, she won't be amazing. If she's worth it, you won't give up. If you give up, you're not worthy." ~ Author unknown
"You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams." ~ Dr. Seuss
"A friend will follow you when you walk away crying. A best friend will not only follow you when you walk away, but they will make you sit down and talk about what's making you cry... and then they will walk back with you, ready to help you face the world again." ~ Me
"She's delusional, sir." - Me, as Captain Solomina. (there's a funny story behind this quote LOL)
"That's why I call myself a witch now: the Wicked Witch of the West, if you want the full glory of it. As long as people are going to call you a lunatic anyway, why not get the benefit of it? It liberates you from convention." ~ Elphaba from the novel "The Life and Times of the Wicked Witch of the West"
"When hope is the cause of pain sometimes the only thing you can do, the only way to stop the pain, is to give up hope." ~ Me
"I don't cause commotions, I am one!" ~ Elphaba, 'Wicked'
"Excuse me, there is no pretense here! I happen to be genuinely shallow and deeply self-absorbed." ~ Fiyero from 'Wicked'
"Are people born Wicked? Or do they have Wickedness thrust upon them?" ~ Galinda from 'Wicked'
"First they came for the Jews, and I did not speak out because I was not a Jew. Then they came for the Communists, and I did not speak out because I was not a Communist. Then they came for the Trade Unionist, and I did not speak out because I was not Trade Unionist. Then they came for the Catholics, and I didn’t speak up because I was a Protestant. Then they came for me and there was no one left to speak for me." ~ Pastor Martin Niemöller, a victim of the Nazi regime during Hitler's reign
As many men as there are in the world,
so many thoughts are there;
each has his own heart's longing;
yet the less for him who knows many songs
and can play the harp with his hands,
he has the gift of his music which God has given him. ~ Gnomic verse from the Exeter Book
“Well is it for him who seeks mercy, comfort from the Father in heaven, where for us all security stands.” ~ from "The Wanderer"
Flower in the crannied wall,
I pluck you out of the crannies.
I hold you here, root and all, in my hand,
Little flower-- but IF I could understand
What you are, root and all, and all in all,
I should know what God and man is. ~ "Flower in the Crannied Wall" by Alfred, Lord Tennyson
The year's at the spring
And day's at the noon;
Morning's at seven;
The hillside's dew-pearled;
The lark's on the wing;
The snail's on the thorn;
God's in his heaven--
All's right with the world! ~ from "Pippa Passes" by Robert Browning
"Isn't the world full of wonderful things?" ~ Michael Crawford from 'Hello, Dolly!'
"But there comes a time when you've got to decide whether you want to be a fool among fools, or a fool alone." ~ Barbra Streisand from 'Hello, Dolly!'
"Why can't we all get back to the time where once you've said everything you want to say and you still have all this emotion, you just can't help but burst into song..." ~ Idina Menzel
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
Confessions of a 'Wicked' Girl
Sometimes I wish I was a kid again... A scrapped knee is a lot easier to fix than a broken heart.
Life was easier when boys had cooties.
It's much easier to fake a smile than to explain what you really feel inside.
Sometimes music is all you need.
Music is the only thing that makes sense.
Don't fall in love. Fall off a bridge. It hurts less.
Music is my escape; from all the lies, all the drama, all the confusion, and all the hurt. Music is my escape from reality.
A real girl isn't perfect, and a perfect girl isn't real.
I never stop thinking about you.
I still can't shake that feeling of wanting nothing but you.
I'm wanted by many, taken by none, looking at some, but waiting for one.
I'm not afraid to love, I'm afraid of not being loved back.
I'm only me when I'm with you.
They say you don't know what you have until it's gone. Truth is, you knew what you had... you just didn't think you would ever lose it.
Tears are words too painful for a broken heart to speak.
I may not be perfect, but I'm always me.
I believe in using songs to say things.
I don't fall in love easily, but when I do, I fall hard and I fall fast. So if you're not planning on catching me, don't make me fall for you.
I'm a lover, not a fighter, but I will fight for who and what I love.
"I'm strong, but I break. I'm stubborn, and I make plenty of mistakes. Yeah I'm hard, and life with me is never easy to figure out, to love, I'm jaded but oh so lovely... I'm confusing as hell. I'm north and south. And I'll probably never have it all figured out... " (lyrics from "Maybe" by Kelly Clarkson)
I love the rain. It's calming, soothing and makes me feel very content and at peace.
I love the woods. It's where I go for peace and quiet, to get away from the hustle and bustle of life and to distract myself from the chaos and confusion of humanity.
I tend to get along better with animals than I do people. People are judgmental, and animals will love you unconditionally. People hurt you, but animals have no end to their love. If you're looking for true love, look in the eyes of a dog or cat.
I don't believe that "true love" exists anymore. "True love" is unconditional; no limits, no bounds, no restrictions. Humans are not capable of loving someone unconditionally. Everyone has limits on their love for others. The limits will vary from person to person, but there are still limits. It may take a lot to reach beyond the limits of someone's love, but the limits are still there, and once you cross those limits, that person will not be able to love you anymore. They cannot and they will not love you beyond their limitations. That is why I don't believe that "true love" exists.
I bottle up my emotions and problems. I don't open up verbally to a lot of people, which is why it's far easier for me to write about my problems and emotions than it is for me to verbally communicate them.
There are few people who I feel I can actually trust.
I still have trouble trying to be friends with my first ex, Mark. Travis, however, I have no problem being friends with. Mostly, I think it's because I was completely devastated when Mark broke up with me; he was my first boyfriend, my first love, my first kiss. He meant everything to me. When Travis and I broke up, I was hurt but I knew that I would have to be okay with him, because I would be seeing him five days week at school, so I knew that I would have to get over him. Mark was, and still is, a different story.
Truth is: you're the reason I don't believe in love anymore.
My biggest mistake wasn't falling for you. It was thinking you had fallen for me too.
In the end, it all comes down to the fact that I care too much, and you didn't care enough.
I am not a backup plan, and I definitely not a second choice.
Your worst battle is between what you know and how you feel.
"It seems every time I find a good man, he's got a good little wife! I'm not jealous, but I won't lie, I don't wanna hear about your wonderful life!" (lyrics from "How I Feel" by Kelly Clarkson)
Sometimes I really wish I was a kid again, back in the days when: boys had cooties, you got "drunk" off of Capri Sun and Kool-Aid, you didn't care about watching your figure, working out was playing outside in the backyard all day long, and the only drama you had to deal with was if someone stole your crayons. I miss being a kid.
They say that Disney World is the happiest place on earth. Obviously, they've never been in your arms.
Life was easier when boys had cooties.
It's much easier to fake a smile than to explain what you really feel inside.
Sometimes music is all you need.
Music is the only thing that makes sense.
Don't fall in love. Fall off a bridge. It hurts less.
Music is my escape; from all the lies, all the drama, all the confusion, and all the hurt. Music is my escape from reality.
A real girl isn't perfect, and a perfect girl isn't real.
I never stop thinking about you.
I still can't shake that feeling of wanting nothing but you.
I'm wanted by many, taken by none, looking at some, but waiting for one.
I'm not afraid to love, I'm afraid of not being loved back.
I'm only me when I'm with you.
They say you don't know what you have until it's gone. Truth is, you knew what you had... you just didn't think you would ever lose it.
Tears are words too painful for a broken heart to speak.
I may not be perfect, but I'm always me.
I believe in using songs to say things.
I don't fall in love easily, but when I do, I fall hard and I fall fast. So if you're not planning on catching me, don't make me fall for you.
I'm a lover, not a fighter, but I will fight for who and what I love.
"I'm strong, but I break. I'm stubborn, and I make plenty of mistakes. Yeah I'm hard, and life with me is never easy to figure out, to love, I'm jaded but oh so lovely... I'm confusing as hell. I'm north and south. And I'll probably never have it all figured out... " (lyrics from "Maybe" by Kelly Clarkson)
I love the rain. It's calming, soothing and makes me feel very content and at peace.
I love the woods. It's where I go for peace and quiet, to get away from the hustle and bustle of life and to distract myself from the chaos and confusion of humanity.
I tend to get along better with animals than I do people. People are judgmental, and animals will love you unconditionally. People hurt you, but animals have no end to their love. If you're looking for true love, look in the eyes of a dog or cat.
I don't believe that "true love" exists anymore. "True love" is unconditional; no limits, no bounds, no restrictions. Humans are not capable of loving someone unconditionally. Everyone has limits on their love for others. The limits will vary from person to person, but there are still limits. It may take a lot to reach beyond the limits of someone's love, but the limits are still there, and once you cross those limits, that person will not be able to love you anymore. They cannot and they will not love you beyond their limitations. That is why I don't believe that "true love" exists.
I bottle up my emotions and problems. I don't open up verbally to a lot of people, which is why it's far easier for me to write about my problems and emotions than it is for me to verbally communicate them.
There are few people who I feel I can actually trust.
I still have trouble trying to be friends with my first ex, Mark. Travis, however, I have no problem being friends with. Mostly, I think it's because I was completely devastated when Mark broke up with me; he was my first boyfriend, my first love, my first kiss. He meant everything to me. When Travis and I broke up, I was hurt but I knew that I would have to be okay with him, because I would be seeing him five days week at school, so I knew that I would have to get over him. Mark was, and still is, a different story.
Truth is: you're the reason I don't believe in love anymore.
My biggest mistake wasn't falling for you. It was thinking you had fallen for me too.
In the end, it all comes down to the fact that I care too much, and you didn't care enough.
I am not a backup plan, and I definitely not a second choice.
Your worst battle is between what you know and how you feel.
"It seems every time I find a good man, he's got a good little wife! I'm not jealous, but I won't lie, I don't wanna hear about your wonderful life!" (lyrics from "How I Feel" by Kelly Clarkson)
Sometimes I really wish I was a kid again, back in the days when: boys had cooties, you got "drunk" off of Capri Sun and Kool-Aid, you didn't care about watching your figure, working out was playing outside in the backyard all day long, and the only drama you had to deal with was if someone stole your crayons. I miss being a kid.
They say that Disney World is the happiest place on earth. Obviously, they've never been in your arms.
Monday, July 18, 2011
Airplanes
***"Can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars? I could really use a wish right now, wish right now, wish right now."***
Sunday, July 17, 2011
In Loving Memory of Caylee Marie Anthony
I'm sure by now, wherever you are, you've heard about Cayse Anthony, the woman who murdered her two year old daughter, Caylee Anthony. For more information, see this link
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Caylee_Anthony
In loving memory of Caylee Anthony, someone wrote this poem (don't know who the author is, this apparently has been floating around the Internet.) Anyway, today is the day Cayse Anthony was released from prison. May the bitch burn in Hell.
In Loving Memory of Caylee Marie Anthony.
Bella Vita
I see what's going on down there
Safe within my Father's care.
I never knew that there could be
So much love on Earth for me.
I'm THANKFUL that the TRUTH revealed
All the lies my Mom concealed.
And though it seems like justice failed
In the end, it will prevail.
When she stands before HIS throne
with no defense and all alone
her life will play for all to see
the fate she chose for her AND ME.
And he will say "I saw it ALL
The tape, the trunk, the trash, the call
the smiles you hid, the tears you faked
I watched it all, there's no mistake.
I gave you life, I gave you breath
and you repaid my love with death.
And after that, twelve let you live
A life that you refused to give
your daughter on that fateful day
You tossed her precious life away.
Now you stand asking for grace
but I don't recognize your face.
You chose your path
You chose your way
You had your fun
It's time to pay.
So down you go
Into the deep
down where your soul
will never sleep
and always hear the voices of
the lives you shattered up above."
So go on Mommy, laugh and smile
live your life just for awhile.
Tell the world you're innocent
and make believe that you repent.
Make your money, have your fame
Refuse to hang your head in shame.
But here is what the world will see
when they look back in history:
The murderer who got away
who sold her soul to hell one day.
The pain you put your family through
Because all you ever loved was YOU.
God won't let me be replaced
And everyday you'll see my face
Your Bella Vita's dead, you see
Her name was CAYLEE ANTHONY!
Caylee Anthony: Gone but Never Forgotten. RIP sweet angel.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Caylee_Anthony
In loving memory of Caylee Anthony, someone wrote this poem (don't know who the author is, this apparently has been floating around the Internet.) Anyway, today is the day Cayse Anthony was released from prison. May the bitch burn in Hell.
In Loving Memory of Caylee Marie Anthony.
Bella Vita
I see what's going on down there
Safe within my Father's care.
I never knew that there could be
So much love on Earth for me.
I'm THANKFUL that the TRUTH revealed
All the lies my Mom concealed.
And though it seems like justice failed
In the end, it will prevail.
When she stands before HIS throne
with no defense and all alone
her life will play for all to see
the fate she chose for her AND ME.
And he will say "I saw it ALL
The tape, the trunk, the trash, the call
the smiles you hid, the tears you faked
I watched it all, there's no mistake.
I gave you life, I gave you breath
and you repaid my love with death.
And after that, twelve let you live
A life that you refused to give
your daughter on that fateful day
You tossed her precious life away.
Now you stand asking for grace
but I don't recognize your face.
You chose your path
You chose your way
You had your fun
It's time to pay.
So down you go
Into the deep
down where your soul
will never sleep
and always hear the voices of
the lives you shattered up above."
So go on Mommy, laugh and smile
live your life just for awhile.
Tell the world you're innocent
and make believe that you repent.
Make your money, have your fame
Refuse to hang your head in shame.
But here is what the world will see
when they look back in history:
The murderer who got away
who sold her soul to hell one day.
The pain you put your family through
Because all you ever loved was YOU.
God won't let me be replaced
And everyday you'll see my face
Your Bella Vita's dead, you see
Her name was CAYLEE ANTHONY!
Caylee Anthony: Gone but Never Forgotten. RIP sweet angel.
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
Sunday, July 3, 2011
Paparazzi
Been listening to a lot of Lady GaGa lately, mainly because A. the music is SOO catchy, and 2. they lyrics are fun and they say a lot of what I've been feeling/thinking lately. Anyway, enjoy!
Saturday, July 2, 2011
Friday, July 1, 2011
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
Still Doll and Sand Castle
This music is absolutely beautiful, and this girl is such a gifted musician. Yes, it's in Japanese, but I don't care. The music is haunting, beautiful and dark. I love it.
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
Love The Way You Lie
Been listening to this song a lot lately. Maybe it's because Eminem is such a great rapper. Maybe it's because I love Rihanna. Or... maybe it's because it's how I've been feeling lately. It's funny; you can be on top of the world one moment, but then you come crashing back down to reality... and the fall is fast, hard and it hurts like hell. And yet... you can't help but go back for more, and more and more, even though you know you're only going to get hurt in the end. Ah yes, I believe that would be the definition of insanity: doing the same thing over and over again, and expecting different results. So, it would appear to be that I really am insane. I keep doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result, a different outcome. These are my favorite lyrics of this song:
"Just gonna stand there and watch me burn, but that's alright because I like the way it hurts. Just gonna stand there and hear me cry, but that's alright because I love the way you lie. I love the way you lie."
Maybe I like being lied to. It sure seems that way lately. My friend, Hannah, asked me the other day, "Erin, what are you getting yourself into, girl?" to which I replied, "Whatever the hell I want to get myself into." It's sad to think that this is who I've become; the girl who doesn't care what she gets herself into, as long as she gets what she wants. These past couple weeks, my world seems to be spiraling out of control; dad has no job, mom is working full time but it's still not enough, I'm trying to work as much as I can but it never seems to help. Work is driving me crazy, and babysitting Caleb is making me tense, on edge and unable to relax. Opera rehearsals are intense, long and often discouraging. So, when you find that one thing that makes you happy, that one thing that makes you forget about your problems, even if just for an hour, you don't want to give it up. In fact, the more chaotic my life gets, the more I cling to this one thing. Because it's the only thing I have that makes me feel secure and safe. I know that's selfish, but I think it's okay to be selfish once in a while. Still, the one thing I cling to is hurting me. I'm sticking my hand in the fire, over and over again... and I like it.
You really are just standing there and watching me burn, but I do like the way it hurts. You really are just standing there, hearing me cry, but I do love the way you lie. I do. Those pretty little lies...
"Just gonna stand there and watch me burn, but that's alright because I like the way it hurts. Just gonna stand there and hear me cry, but that's alright because I love the way you lie. I love the way you lie."
Maybe I like being lied to. It sure seems that way lately. My friend, Hannah, asked me the other day, "Erin, what are you getting yourself into, girl?" to which I replied, "Whatever the hell I want to get myself into." It's sad to think that this is who I've become; the girl who doesn't care what she gets herself into, as long as she gets what she wants. These past couple weeks, my world seems to be spiraling out of control; dad has no job, mom is working full time but it's still not enough, I'm trying to work as much as I can but it never seems to help. Work is driving me crazy, and babysitting Caleb is making me tense, on edge and unable to relax. Opera rehearsals are intense, long and often discouraging. So, when you find that one thing that makes you happy, that one thing that makes you forget about your problems, even if just for an hour, you don't want to give it up. In fact, the more chaotic my life gets, the more I cling to this one thing. Because it's the only thing I have that makes me feel secure and safe. I know that's selfish, but I think it's okay to be selfish once in a while. Still, the one thing I cling to is hurting me. I'm sticking my hand in the fire, over and over again... and I like it.
You really are just standing there and watching me burn, but I do like the way it hurts. You really are just standing there, hearing me cry, but I do love the way you lie. I do. Those pretty little lies...
Friday, June 24, 2011
More Randomness: Fun with Song Titles
Sorry, I'm EXTREMELY bored today, so I'm writing/posting a lot. Please forgive me :-P hahaha! Anyway, this is just a little random thing I like to do sometimes, when the inspiration strikes me. I like to take song titles and put them in sentences. Weird, yes, but fun and also very challenging sometimes. This one I did today was hard, it really made me think. Also, I'm posting the songs so you can listen to them if you so choose :-)
So, it's a definite possibility that I have fallen hard for you. You tell me "I'm only gonna Break Your Heart" but I can't help myself because Your Love Is My Drug, and I Need You Now. I wish this could be a Love Story, I wish that you could see You Belong With Me, but I'm about to Fall to Pieces, knowing you will never be My Man.
"Break Your Heart" by Taio Cruz
"Your Love Is My Drug" by Kesha
"Need You Now" by Lady Antebellum
"Love Story" by Taylor Swift
"You Belong With Me" by Taylor Swift
"Fall To Pieces" by Avril Lavigne
"My Man" by Barbra Streisand
So, it's a definite possibility that I have fallen hard for you. You tell me "I'm only gonna Break Your Heart" but I can't help myself because Your Love Is My Drug, and I Need You Now. I wish this could be a Love Story, I wish that you could see You Belong With Me, but I'm about to Fall to Pieces, knowing you will never be My Man.
"Break Your Heart" by Taio Cruz
"Your Love Is My Drug" by Kesha
"Need You Now" by Lady Antebellum
"Love Story" by Taylor Swift
"You Belong With Me" by Taylor Swift
"Fall To Pieces" by Avril Lavigne
"My Man" by Barbra Streisand
Ramblings of the Crazed Mind
Life is funny. No seriously, it is. More often than not it's only funny to someone else who enjoys watching other people suffer, but yeah, life is funny. And, more often than that, life is very much ironic. Also, it always has a way of surprising you, for better or for worse. See, there comes a point in a person's life where everything that they had planned on doing, or becoming, when they were children and teenagers suddenly takes a complete turn around.
For instance, let's take little Billy. He had always dreamed of being a superhero when he was a boy. He grew up watching Superman, Batman, Spiderman, all the great superheros, and he even dressed up as his favorite heros and played all day long with his action figures. But then, he begins to grow up and soon realizes that superheros aren't real. They're just actors who pretend to be superheros. When that dream has died, Billy decides he wants to be... oh, let's say a firefighter. But then, one day, Billy's house catches on fire, and from that day on, Billy is terrified of fire and no longer wants to be a firefighter, for fear of being burned alive. With another dream dead, Billy is now a teenager and decides that he wants to be a scientist. But, his high school grades in science and math classes are horrible, and his teachers and his parents all tell him that he will never get into a college and study science with grades like that. So, once again, his dream dies. But wait, now little Billy is a grown man.
What will he do now? He finally decided to study English, and is now a high school English teacher. Sure, he makes a decent living; enough to pay the bills and live semi-comfortably. But, is Billy happy? Is he? No. No he is not. Because becoming an English teacher was never in his dreams. He never would have predicted that he'd end up at this point in his life, stuck in a career he has no passion for. But, all of Billy's dreams from childhood have died. He has no more dreams, or if he does, he doesn't share them with anyone for fear of being judged... and fear that those dreams too, will die. Just like all the others. So, he stays in his job, and lives the rest of his life without ever pursing any of his dreams.
Now, let's take another example. Little Sarah. Ah yes, precious little Sarah. Her dream is to become a world famous ballerina. She just loves to dance, with her tutu, her little leotard and cute ballet slippers. But, the more lessons she takes, the more she becomes discouraged; all the other little girls are so much better than her, so much more advanced. She comes to a point where she is so discouraged in her own ability to dance that she gives up entirely. Her dream is dead. Now, another dream of Sarah's is to become a world famous painter. She loves to paint. All the pretty colors, she just loves to let her imagination run free. But... when her parents start to give her art lessons, her teacher discourages Sarah's creativity. "No, Sarah, you cannot paint the horse pink! Horses are not pink, Sarah! No, Sarah, you cannot paint the sky green! The sky is blue, Sarah, BLUE! Not GREEN! Get it right!" And so, Sarah stops taking the art lessons. Another dream, dead.
Now, Sarah is a teenager and her new dream is to become a nurse. But, one day while Sarah is driving around town, she comes across a horrible car accident. The sight of the mangled cars gives her a sick feeling in her stomach, and when she sees a body being zipped into a body bag, she almost passes out. But worst of all, there's blood on the road, a sight that makes her gag and drive away as fast as she can. This sight will haunt her for the rest of her life, and so now, with this new fear of death and blood, Sarah will not be becoming a nurse any time soon. So, this dream dies a slow death.
Sarah is now an adult, and is working at as a secretary at a big fashion design studio. Sure, the pay is good and she gets the chance to do what most girls dream of, being surrounded all day by the latest fashions and top models. But, is Sarah happy? No. Not in the least. This was never her dream, it was never even an option. But, what can she do? All her other dreams died with her childhood. She would love to fulfill her dreams, but is too afraid of being ridiculed by her family and friends. And so, Sarah stays at her job, every day dying a little on the inside.
Life is funny, isn't it?
Sorry, but I've had these thoughts kind of rolling around in my head since Thursday. Got a couple other blog posts I'm thinking about/working on (damn... I've been writing A LOT of these things lately... oh well, it gives me something to do besides babysit and go to rehearsal. Not that I don't like rehearsal, but I always look forward to the weekend where I can sleep in and not have to get up at 7 in the morning.) Anyway, until next time, my dear readers. Ciao!
For instance, let's take little Billy. He had always dreamed of being a superhero when he was a boy. He grew up watching Superman, Batman, Spiderman, all the great superheros, and he even dressed up as his favorite heros and played all day long with his action figures. But then, he begins to grow up and soon realizes that superheros aren't real. They're just actors who pretend to be superheros. When that dream has died, Billy decides he wants to be... oh, let's say a firefighter. But then, one day, Billy's house catches on fire, and from that day on, Billy is terrified of fire and no longer wants to be a firefighter, for fear of being burned alive. With another dream dead, Billy is now a teenager and decides that he wants to be a scientist. But, his high school grades in science and math classes are horrible, and his teachers and his parents all tell him that he will never get into a college and study science with grades like that. So, once again, his dream dies. But wait, now little Billy is a grown man.
What will he do now? He finally decided to study English, and is now a high school English teacher. Sure, he makes a decent living; enough to pay the bills and live semi-comfortably. But, is Billy happy? Is he? No. No he is not. Because becoming an English teacher was never in his dreams. He never would have predicted that he'd end up at this point in his life, stuck in a career he has no passion for. But, all of Billy's dreams from childhood have died. He has no more dreams, or if he does, he doesn't share them with anyone for fear of being judged... and fear that those dreams too, will die. Just like all the others. So, he stays in his job, and lives the rest of his life without ever pursing any of his dreams.
Now, let's take another example. Little Sarah. Ah yes, precious little Sarah. Her dream is to become a world famous ballerina. She just loves to dance, with her tutu, her little leotard and cute ballet slippers. But, the more lessons she takes, the more she becomes discouraged; all the other little girls are so much better than her, so much more advanced. She comes to a point where she is so discouraged in her own ability to dance that she gives up entirely. Her dream is dead. Now, another dream of Sarah's is to become a world famous painter. She loves to paint. All the pretty colors, she just loves to let her imagination run free. But... when her parents start to give her art lessons, her teacher discourages Sarah's creativity. "No, Sarah, you cannot paint the horse pink! Horses are not pink, Sarah! No, Sarah, you cannot paint the sky green! The sky is blue, Sarah, BLUE! Not GREEN! Get it right!" And so, Sarah stops taking the art lessons. Another dream, dead.
Now, Sarah is a teenager and her new dream is to become a nurse. But, one day while Sarah is driving around town, she comes across a horrible car accident. The sight of the mangled cars gives her a sick feeling in her stomach, and when she sees a body being zipped into a body bag, she almost passes out. But worst of all, there's blood on the road, a sight that makes her gag and drive away as fast as she can. This sight will haunt her for the rest of her life, and so now, with this new fear of death and blood, Sarah will not be becoming a nurse any time soon. So, this dream dies a slow death.
Sarah is now an adult, and is working at as a secretary at a big fashion design studio. Sure, the pay is good and she gets the chance to do what most girls dream of, being surrounded all day by the latest fashions and top models. But, is Sarah happy? No. Not in the least. This was never her dream, it was never even an option. But, what can she do? All her other dreams died with her childhood. She would love to fulfill her dreams, but is too afraid of being ridiculed by her family and friends. And so, Sarah stays at her job, every day dying a little on the inside.
Life is funny, isn't it?
Sorry, but I've had these thoughts kind of rolling around in my head since Thursday. Got a couple other blog posts I'm thinking about/working on (damn... I've been writing A LOT of these things lately... oh well, it gives me something to do besides babysit and go to rehearsal. Not that I don't like rehearsal, but I always look forward to the weekend where I can sleep in and not have to get up at 7 in the morning.) Anyway, until next time, my dear readers. Ciao!
Questions and Letters
Just some questions and some letters. Random, yes, but it's my blog and I'll do whatever the hell I want with it :-P
First, some questions I have:
Why is it that every time you're in a hurry to get somewhere, you ALWAYS end up behind the ONE PERSON who wants to do exactly the speed limit or lower?
Why is it that every time you're having a good dream or you're finally getting some decent sleep for once, your alarm clock decides that it's time for you to get up?
And why is it that when you're having that amazing dream and you try to go back to sleep, you can't start the dream up again?
Why is it that you never seem to have enough money?
Why is it that you never seem to have enough sleep?
And why is it that when you've slept for an entire 12 hours straight, you STILL feel exhausted?
Why does it always seem to rain JUST AFTER you've washed the car the day before?
Why is it that when you turn on the radio during the afternoon, you hear more commercials for dumb s*** than you hear ACTUAL music, but at night, you hear more music than commercials, but they play all the songs you DON'T KNOW so you can't sing along with them?
Why is it that we reject those who love us and love those who reject us?
Why is it that us girls will gladly give our hearts away to a guy who doesn't want it, but lock our hearts up from the guy who DOES want it?
Why is it that you never get the guy you ACTUALLY want?
Why is it that there are NO GOOD MEN left in the world?
"Where have all the good men gone and where are all the gods? Where's the street-wise Hercules to fight the rising odds? Isn't there a White Knight upon a fiery steed...?" (lyrics from "Holding Out For A Hero", originally sung by Bonnie Tyler)
And now, some letters:
Dear America,
Since you released the horror that is Miley Cyrus, we have decided to retaliate. Its name is Justin Bieber, and no one will be spared.
Sincerely, Canada.
Dear Canada,
Since the release of the Justin Bieber, we have come upon a much more evil weapon for our retaliation. Its called the Rebecca Black. Now no one is safe.
Sincerely, America.
Dear Abercrombie & Fitch,
Oh, I thought you were selling shirtless men...
Sincerely, misled.
Dear player,
We made so much sweet music last night that my g-string broke.
Sincerely, your violin.
Dear Life,
Thanks for the lemons, I made grape juice.
Sincerely, Chuck Norris.
Dear Perfect Boyfriend,
Welcome to the club.
Sincerely, Santa Clause, Easter Bunny and Tooth Fairy.
Dear Abercrombie,
$100 for your jeans... How much for the guy wearing them?
Sincerely,
I'd buy that,
Dear Jellyfish,
I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy.
Sincerely,
Dory.
Dear Cupid,
Okay, so you've hit me pretty hard... now what about him?
Sincerely,
Me.
Dear Love,
Please stop screwing me over. When you're ready for me, let me know. Until then...
F*** YOU!!!
Sincerely,
Me.
Dear Life,
You suck. Simple as that.
Sincerely,
Me.
First, some questions I have:
Why is it that every time you're in a hurry to get somewhere, you ALWAYS end up behind the ONE PERSON who wants to do exactly the speed limit or lower?
Why is it that every time you're having a good dream or you're finally getting some decent sleep for once, your alarm clock decides that it's time for you to get up?
And why is it that when you're having that amazing dream and you try to go back to sleep, you can't start the dream up again?
Why is it that you never seem to have enough money?
Why is it that you never seem to have enough sleep?
And why is it that when you've slept for an entire 12 hours straight, you STILL feel exhausted?
Why does it always seem to rain JUST AFTER you've washed the car the day before?
Why is it that when you turn on the radio during the afternoon, you hear more commercials for dumb s*** than you hear ACTUAL music, but at night, you hear more music than commercials, but they play all the songs you DON'T KNOW so you can't sing along with them?
Why is it that we reject those who love us and love those who reject us?
Why is it that us girls will gladly give our hearts away to a guy who doesn't want it, but lock our hearts up from the guy who DOES want it?
Why is it that you never get the guy you ACTUALLY want?
Why is it that there are NO GOOD MEN left in the world?
"Where have all the good men gone and where are all the gods? Where's the street-wise Hercules to fight the rising odds? Isn't there a White Knight upon a fiery steed...?" (lyrics from "Holding Out For A Hero", originally sung by Bonnie Tyler)
And now, some letters:
Dear America,
Since you released the horror that is Miley Cyrus, we have decided to retaliate. Its name is Justin Bieber, and no one will be spared.
Sincerely, Canada.
Dear Canada,
Since the release of the Justin Bieber, we have come upon a much more evil weapon for our retaliation. Its called the Rebecca Black. Now no one is safe.
Sincerely, America.
Dear Abercrombie & Fitch,
Oh, I thought you were selling shirtless men...
Sincerely, misled.
Dear player,
We made so much sweet music last night that my g-string broke.
Sincerely, your violin.
Dear Life,
Thanks for the lemons, I made grape juice.
Sincerely, Chuck Norris.
Dear Perfect Boyfriend,
Welcome to the club.
Sincerely, Santa Clause, Easter Bunny and Tooth Fairy.
Dear Abercrombie,
$100 for your jeans... How much for the guy wearing them?
Sincerely,
I'd buy that,
Dear Jellyfish,
I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy.
Sincerely,
Dory.
Dear Cupid,
Okay, so you've hit me pretty hard... now what about him?
Sincerely,
Me.
Dear Love,
Please stop screwing me over. When you're ready for me, let me know. Until then...
F*** YOU!!!
Sincerely,
Me.
Dear Life,
You suck. Simple as that.
Sincerely,
Me.
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
Music + Love = My Life
My life as it currently is can be summed up in one word: unpredictable. This summer has been mostly like any other summer; staying busy with this and that, hanging out with friends on occasion, and of course, the infamous Texas humidity and heat. But this summer has also been very different; babysitting my sister's kid, participating in one of the most renowned operas, 'Carmen' and getting to do scenes from one of the greatest musical masterpieces, 'West Side Story'. But... there's been something else too. Something that I never saw coming. See, there's this guy who kind of makes me lose all control, makes me love him so much to the point of hating him, makes me want to be with him more than anyone I've ever known, and who makes me feel like the most beautiful girl in the world. He is everything I could have ever wanted... but, we'll never be together. It's complicated.
I've always wondered what it would feel like to really, truly be in love with someone. Sure, I could easily tell you that I was in love with my first boyfriend, Mark, but somehow, that just doesn't seem right. Sure, I really liked him, and I was devastated when he broke my heart, but did I really love him? And then there was Travis. Yeah, I don't think that was really love either. And now... there's this guy. And we're not even IN a relationship! Like I said, it's complicated. I have thought a lot these past couple of weeks, about whether or not it's possible I could be in love with this guy. And I'm still not entirely sure. I have tried to convince myself that I am, but if I were to be completely and totally honest with myself, I don't know if I could say that I'm in love with him. Part of me is afraid to think that I might be in love with him. I mean, after all, we'll never be together, not in the way that I wish for and dream about. No, it will never happen. He's told me himself. And he likes another girl... Or at least, that's what he told me. Somehow, I'm not so sure if that's really the truth. Men are so hard to decipher. I can't understand them at all! This guy has either been lying to me about his feelings for me, or he is lying to himself about his feelings for me. Either way, someone is going to get hurt. And yet...
*(sigh)* I wish that Love came with a manual. It seems so complicated at times, and yet at other times it seems so simple. Funny how a lot of things in life are like that. Like music. It seems so simple! Just open your mouth and sing. But, since I started actually studying music in college, I've learned it's not always so simple as it seems. There's a lot of mechanics, both mentally, physically and emotionally, that go into singing and making music. It's the same with acting. People tell me, "Oh you make it look so easy! You seem so confident up there, so at ease!" HA! Yeah sure, I may LOOK confident and at ease, but on the inside my brain is going a million miles a minute, remembering notes, rhythms, words and counting every step of the way through the song. And with acting, it's DEFINITELY the same way. People tell me how confident I look when I'm on stage. I may LOOK confident, but my entire body starts shaking when I sing or get on stage. Love is very much the same way, I think. It seems easy, but in reality there's a lot more to it. There's so many mechanics of Love, and there's definitely a lot of behind-the-scenes work going on at all times for both the people in the relationship.
Wow... Sorry, I have NO idea where all of that came from just now. This is what I get for having no set sleep schedule; my brain starts thinking too much, especially at night when I'm TRYING to sleep. Grrrr... Anyway, opera rehearsals are going great. I am so excited for these shows! :-) And I'm excited to see how the rest of this summer is going to turn out. Somehow I have this feeling that it's going to be life-changing, in some way or another, for better or for worse. Well, I guess that's all for now, my dear readers. Sorry, not much to report on, but in case you haven't noticed I've been having A LOT of inspiration for my poems lately. Hmm... gee, I wonder why? ;-) hahaha! Well, good night, everyone! Ciao!
I've always wondered what it would feel like to really, truly be in love with someone. Sure, I could easily tell you that I was in love with my first boyfriend, Mark, but somehow, that just doesn't seem right. Sure, I really liked him, and I was devastated when he broke my heart, but did I really love him? And then there was Travis. Yeah, I don't think that was really love either. And now... there's this guy. And we're not even IN a relationship! Like I said, it's complicated. I have thought a lot these past couple of weeks, about whether or not it's possible I could be in love with this guy. And I'm still not entirely sure. I have tried to convince myself that I am, but if I were to be completely and totally honest with myself, I don't know if I could say that I'm in love with him. Part of me is afraid to think that I might be in love with him. I mean, after all, we'll never be together, not in the way that I wish for and dream about. No, it will never happen. He's told me himself. And he likes another girl... Or at least, that's what he told me. Somehow, I'm not so sure if that's really the truth. Men are so hard to decipher. I can't understand them at all! This guy has either been lying to me about his feelings for me, or he is lying to himself about his feelings for me. Either way, someone is going to get hurt. And yet...
*(sigh)* I wish that Love came with a manual. It seems so complicated at times, and yet at other times it seems so simple. Funny how a lot of things in life are like that. Like music. It seems so simple! Just open your mouth and sing. But, since I started actually studying music in college, I've learned it's not always so simple as it seems. There's a lot of mechanics, both mentally, physically and emotionally, that go into singing and making music. It's the same with acting. People tell me, "Oh you make it look so easy! You seem so confident up there, so at ease!" HA! Yeah sure, I may LOOK confident and at ease, but on the inside my brain is going a million miles a minute, remembering notes, rhythms, words and counting every step of the way through the song. And with acting, it's DEFINITELY the same way. People tell me how confident I look when I'm on stage. I may LOOK confident, but my entire body starts shaking when I sing or get on stage. Love is very much the same way, I think. It seems easy, but in reality there's a lot more to it. There's so many mechanics of Love, and there's definitely a lot of behind-the-scenes work going on at all times for both the people in the relationship.
Wow... Sorry, I have NO idea where all of that came from just now. This is what I get for having no set sleep schedule; my brain starts thinking too much, especially at night when I'm TRYING to sleep. Grrrr... Anyway, opera rehearsals are going great. I am so excited for these shows! :-) And I'm excited to see how the rest of this summer is going to turn out. Somehow I have this feeling that it's going to be life-changing, in some way or another, for better or for worse. Well, I guess that's all for now, my dear readers. Sorry, not much to report on, but in case you haven't noticed I've been having A LOT of inspiration for my poems lately. Hmm... gee, I wonder why? ;-) hahaha! Well, good night, everyone! Ciao!
As Long As You're Mine
One of my favorite songs from the amazing musical 'Wicked' and my absolute FAVORITE OF ALL TIMES love duet :-) enjoy!
Your Love Is My Drug ;-)
Hellz yeah! Freaking love Kesha! :-) enjoy! So... yeah... this is basically how I felt about Monday night after opera rehearsal... ;-) HA! You think I'm gonna tell you?! Nope! :-P Just gonna have to read my poems to figure it out!
Dark Whispers
Softly,
Gently,
Sweetly, you
Never miss a beat.
Words.
Words that form from
Nowhere
Tickle my skin,
Caress my body, and
Make me see fireworks.
Words.
Mere words.
Words that have incredible
Power.
Words.
Mere human words that have the ability to render me
Helpless,
Hopeless.
I am paralyzed by your
Words.
My mind has shut down,
Unable to process what is happening to my body.
I feel
Powerless,
Out of control,
Overwhelmed.
I feel as though I am
In an entirely different
Universe...
And you have made me this way with just a few
Words.
You.
You have made me unable to function,
To think,
To speak,
To act.
I am left with nothing.
You have stripped me of all thought, actions, words, any and
All sense of the world around me.
It is dark.
In the darkness, you whisper to me.
You say anything and everything.
You say words that
No
One
Has ever spoken to me before.
And because no one has ever
Spoken
These things to me before, they must all be
Lies.
Why would someone not tell me all these
Things
That you say about me, unless you are telling me
Lies?
Beautiful lies.
Lies that I have no choice but to listen to and
Believe.
I try to focus, try to comprehend, try to understand...
No use.
Your beautiful, beautiful lies have left me vulnerable.
I slip away to try and bring myself
Back;
I slip into my head, my thoughts, and try to
Process,
Understand...
I cannot.
It is now that my head, heart and conscious are all
Fighting;
My head tells me,
"Don't listen to him! He lies! It's all lies!"
My heart tells me,
"No, listen, he speaks the truth!" and
My conscious tells me,
"Girl, get the hell out of here. Now."
The red flags go up;
The sirens are screaming in my head,
The words flash in front of my eyes:
GET. OUT. NOW.
But...
I don't.
I listen to my head, and to my heart, but ignore my
Conscious
Completely.
So, I compromise:
Listen, but don't believe.
And yet, I want to believe.
I want to believe all the things you are saying to me are
Truth.
That the whispers are true.
That they aren't lies.
I listen to your voice, your sweet, beautiful
Voice.
The voice that charms me with its music and
Words.
That voice that leaves me breathless, and causes me to hang on
Your
Every
Word.
And I hate you for it.
I hate you, and your beautiful lies.
Your beautiful voice.
Your hands that hold me, caress me,
Touch me.
Your hands that bring me to life, and your voice that
Disarms me completely.
I hate you for it all.
I...
I...
I love you so much that I hate you.
You stir up a fire inside of me that I didn't even know
Existed.
You cause me to lose control.
You make me want you in a way I never dreamed of.
And when I'm with you,
When I'm in your arms, and
When I kiss your lips...
For the first time,
I feel...
WICKED.
Gently,
Sweetly, you
Never miss a beat.
Words.
Words that form from
Nowhere
Tickle my skin,
Caress my body, and
Make me see fireworks.
Words.
Mere words.
Words that have incredible
Power.
Words.
Mere human words that have the ability to render me
Helpless,
Hopeless.
I am paralyzed by your
Words.
My mind has shut down,
Unable to process what is happening to my body.
I feel
Powerless,
Out of control,
Overwhelmed.
I feel as though I am
In an entirely different
Universe...
And you have made me this way with just a few
Words.
You.
You have made me unable to function,
To think,
To speak,
To act.
I am left with nothing.
You have stripped me of all thought, actions, words, any and
All sense of the world around me.
It is dark.
In the darkness, you whisper to me.
You say anything and everything.
You say words that
No
One
Has ever spoken to me before.
And because no one has ever
Spoken
These things to me before, they must all be
Lies.
Why would someone not tell me all these
Things
That you say about me, unless you are telling me
Lies?
Beautiful lies.
Lies that I have no choice but to listen to and
Believe.
I try to focus, try to comprehend, try to understand...
No use.
Your beautiful, beautiful lies have left me vulnerable.
I slip away to try and bring myself
Back;
I slip into my head, my thoughts, and try to
Process,
Understand...
I cannot.
It is now that my head, heart and conscious are all
Fighting;
My head tells me,
"Don't listen to him! He lies! It's all lies!"
My heart tells me,
"No, listen, he speaks the truth!" and
My conscious tells me,
"Girl, get the hell out of here. Now."
The red flags go up;
The sirens are screaming in my head,
The words flash in front of my eyes:
GET. OUT. NOW.
But...
I don't.
I listen to my head, and to my heart, but ignore my
Conscious
Completely.
So, I compromise:
Listen, but don't believe.
And yet, I want to believe.
I want to believe all the things you are saying to me are
Truth.
That the whispers are true.
That they aren't lies.
I listen to your voice, your sweet, beautiful
Voice.
The voice that charms me with its music and
Words.
That voice that leaves me breathless, and causes me to hang on
Your
Every
Word.
And I hate you for it.
I hate you, and your beautiful lies.
Your beautiful voice.
Your hands that hold me, caress me,
Touch me.
Your hands that bring me to life, and your voice that
Disarms me completely.
I hate you for it all.
I...
I...
I love you so much that I hate you.
You stir up a fire inside of me that I didn't even know
Existed.
You cause me to lose control.
You make me want you in a way I never dreamed of.
And when I'm with you,
When I'm in your arms, and
When I kiss your lips...
For the first time,
I feel...
WICKED.
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
Sunday, June 12, 2011
An Engineer's Guide to Cats
HAHAHA!!! :-D OMG! these guys are HILARIOUS!!! I love them! and I think you will too! if you love cats, you will love these guys and their cats :-) enjoy!
Saturday, June 11, 2011
Wanting
To the one I want. You know who you are.
Wanting.
I want you.
I want to be with you, and the look in your
Eyes
Tells me that you want to be with
Me
Too.
I see it there, your eyes tell me the
Truth;
Even if your mouth lies,
Even if your words speak falsely.
I want you.
I want to feel your arms around me
Always.
I want to taste your kiss on my lips
Always.
I want to breathe in the scent of you
Always.
I want you.
Why is it that I always want the one person that I
Can't
Have?
Why does my heart beat faster when
You're around?
Why do I dream of the day when you will
Want
Me as much as I want
You?
Why do I want the one guy who has rejected me,
But
Reject the guy that loves me?
Why do I continue to give my
Heart
Away to the one who doesn't
Want it?
The most painful thing in the world is
Watching
The one you love,
Love someone
Else.
The greatest sorrow is knowing you will
Never
Have the one you
Want.
And the hardest reality is knowing
He
Will
Never
Be
Mine.
And yet...
I continue to play the game.
I continue to wish, and dream and
Hope
That someday, someday,
You will return my love, my feelings,
My desires.
And yet...
Somewhere, deep in my heart,
I know you
Never
Will.
I know you will never love me,
I know you will never return my feelings or
Desires.
I know all of this.
And yet...
The greatest mystery in the world:
Why do we love the ones that reject us,
And reject the ones that love us?
The most agonizing pain is knowing
The one you want the most will
Never
Be
Yours.
The most gut-wrenching feeling is being hopelessly in
Love,
And having to watch them walk away to go
Love
Someone else.
And the hardest words to be told are:
"You're not my type"
"It would never work between us"
"I never wanted you like that"
Wanting.
I want you.
I want what I cannot have.
I want what will never be mine.
We can play pretend all we want, but
In
Truth,
We both know that we are only
Fooling
Ourselves.
We pretend, we make believe, we act.
But it's not real.
We both know that.
If it was real, you would want me as I
Want
You.
If it was real, we wouldn't play pretend.
We wouldn't act as though nothing is
Wrong.
We wouldn't fake the smile, the laugh.
We would be real, honest.
We wouldn't need to pretend.
But we do pretend.
And we enjoy every minute of it.
I want you.
You know this...
And yet,
You do not want me.
It will never be.
I can wish upon every star,
And you will never love me.
You will never be with me.
What happens when you're my Prince Charming,
But I'm not your Cinderella?
I want you.
You say it will never be.
And still, I will continue to want you.
You can close your eyes to the things you do not want to see,
But
You cannot close your heart to the things you do not want to
Feel.
Wanting.
I want you.
I want to be with you, and the look in your
Eyes
Tells me that you want to be with
Me
Too.
I see it there, your eyes tell me the
Truth;
Even if your mouth lies,
Even if your words speak falsely.
I want you.
I want to feel your arms around me
Always.
I want to taste your kiss on my lips
Always.
I want to breathe in the scent of you
Always.
I want you.
Why is it that I always want the one person that I
Can't
Have?
Why does my heart beat faster when
You're around?
Why do I dream of the day when you will
Want
Me as much as I want
You?
Why do I want the one guy who has rejected me,
But
Reject the guy that loves me?
Why do I continue to give my
Heart
Away to the one who doesn't
Want it?
The most painful thing in the world is
Watching
The one you love,
Love someone
Else.
The greatest sorrow is knowing you will
Never
Have the one you
Want.
And the hardest reality is knowing
He
Will
Never
Be
Mine.
And yet...
I continue to play the game.
I continue to wish, and dream and
Hope
That someday, someday,
You will return my love, my feelings,
My desires.
And yet...
Somewhere, deep in my heart,
I know you
Never
Will.
I know you will never love me,
I know you will never return my feelings or
Desires.
I know all of this.
And yet...
The greatest mystery in the world:
Why do we love the ones that reject us,
And reject the ones that love us?
The most agonizing pain is knowing
The one you want the most will
Never
Be
Yours.
The most gut-wrenching feeling is being hopelessly in
Love,
And having to watch them walk away to go
Love
Someone else.
And the hardest words to be told are:
"You're not my type"
"It would never work between us"
"I never wanted you like that"
Wanting.
I want you.
I want what I cannot have.
I want what will never be mine.
We can play pretend all we want, but
In
Truth,
We both know that we are only
Fooling
Ourselves.
We pretend, we make believe, we act.
But it's not real.
We both know that.
If it was real, you would want me as I
Want
You.
If it was real, we wouldn't play pretend.
We wouldn't act as though nothing is
Wrong.
We wouldn't fake the smile, the laugh.
We would be real, honest.
We wouldn't need to pretend.
But we do pretend.
And we enjoy every minute of it.
I want you.
You know this...
And yet,
You do not want me.
It will never be.
I can wish upon every star,
And you will never love me.
You will never be with me.
What happens when you're my Prince Charming,
But I'm not your Cinderella?
I want you.
You say it will never be.
And still, I will continue to want you.
You can close your eyes to the things you do not want to see,
But
You cannot close your heart to the things you do not want to
Feel.
Quotes
I felt like looking up quotes today. enjoy.
“Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love.” ~ Neil Gaiman
“Love comes when manipulation stops; when you think more about the other person than about his or her reactions to you. When you dare to reveal yourself fully. When you dare to be vulnerable." ~ Dr. Joyce Brothers
"You know than when I hate you, it is because I love you to the point of passion that unhinges my soul." ~ Julie de Lespinasse
"There is sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are messengers of overwhelming grief... and unspeakable love." ~ Washington Irving
“The decision to kiss for the first time is the most crucial in any love story. It changes the relationship of two people much more strongly than even the final surrender; because this kiss has within it that surrender." ~ Emil Ludwig
"There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness." ~ Friedrich Nietzsche
"I am good, but not an angel. I do sin, but I am not the devil. I am just a small girl in a big world trying to find someone to love." ~ Marilyn Monroe
"It is every woman's dream to be some man's dream woman." - Barbra Streisand
"You come to love not by finding the perfect person, but by seeing an imperfect person perfectly." ~ Sam Keen
"You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams." ~ Dr. Seuss
"... but there comes a time when you've got to decide whether you want to be a fool among fools, or a fool alone." ~ Barbra Streisand from 'Hello, Dolly!'
“Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love.” ~ Neil Gaiman
“Love comes when manipulation stops; when you think more about the other person than about his or her reactions to you. When you dare to reveal yourself fully. When you dare to be vulnerable." ~ Dr. Joyce Brothers
"You know than when I hate you, it is because I love you to the point of passion that unhinges my soul." ~ Julie de Lespinasse
"There is sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are messengers of overwhelming grief... and unspeakable love." ~ Washington Irving
“The decision to kiss for the first time is the most crucial in any love story. It changes the relationship of two people much more strongly than even the final surrender; because this kiss has within it that surrender." ~ Emil Ludwig
"There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness." ~ Friedrich Nietzsche
"I am good, but not an angel. I do sin, but I am not the devil. I am just a small girl in a big world trying to find someone to love." ~ Marilyn Monroe
"It is every woman's dream to be some man's dream woman." - Barbra Streisand
"You come to love not by finding the perfect person, but by seeing an imperfect person perfectly." ~ Sam Keen
"You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams." ~ Dr. Seuss
"... but there comes a time when you've got to decide whether you want to be a fool among fools, or a fool alone." ~ Barbra Streisand from 'Hello, Dolly!'
You Belong With Me
Why is it that I ALWAYS want the one guy that I CANNOT have? And why is it that we love the ones that reject us and reject the ones that love us? Love is a strange thing.
Friday, June 3, 2011
Curiosity killed the cat...
So... I'm curious. How many people actually read my blog? Even if no one reads this, I'm still going to be posting more entries, just because it helps me. But, I am curious about how many people read my blog, if any. So, here's what I'm purposing. If you read this blog, please post a comment with the following information:
1. Your name (I want to know who my dear readers are by name. makes it more personal I think)
2. Your age (wondering what the age range is of people who read my blog)
3. Where you're from (curious about where my readers live, whether here in the U.S. or another country)
4. What you like about my blog (just wondering)
and 5. Anything else you want to add :-)
1. Your name (I want to know who my dear readers are by name. makes it more personal I think)
2. Your age (wondering what the age range is of people who read my blog)
3. Where you're from (curious about where my readers live, whether here in the U.S. or another country)
4. What you like about my blog (just wondering)
and 5. Anything else you want to add :-)
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