So, this is my last and final post here on Blogger. Oh, and can you believe it?! I've had 1,000 page hits! YEEHAW!!!!!! FINALLY!!! hahaha! Sorry, but that makes me so happy to know that people actually are reading what I write about! It feels nice :-) Anyway, school has now started, and I am so excited for multiple reasons:
1. New. Music. Building. Need I say more?
2. This said new music building has 7 PRACTICE ROOMS!!! YAY!!!
3. This building will be just for music. We get our own building! How awesome is that??!
4. I'm taking 2 dance classes this semester; Ballet III and Dance Performance. Dance is awesome, what more do I need to say?
5. I get to be with all my favorite people and teachers again!
6. I'll actually have a life again! It's so sad, I know; my life doesn't begin until school starts. It's really quite tragic, actually... or maybe I'm just that big of a nerd.
And my 7th reason shall go unannounced, because I don't want to say it :-P
You know, it's weird. I've been involved with music and singing practically my whole life. Ever since I can remember (which isn't that far back, let me tell you) I've always loved to sing and perform for people.Then, when I became a part of Joyful Sound, my life was forever changed. Music suddenly was all I wanted to do, and when I began to sing solos, and do more solo performing, I suddenly started having people compliment me, and tell me how great I was. So, fast forward a couple years, and after all this time, music is still the only thing I want to do. I literally cannot go a single day without either listening to music or singing something. I just can't. I love music. It was my first love, and it will be the one thing that I love until the day I breathe my last. Music has always been there for me; it has helped me become a better musician, but it has also helped me through some hard times. Music is the one friend that I can always go to, no matter how I'm feeling. Music has helped me express who I am, it has helped me share the parts of me that I just can't express any other way but through music. Music is who I am.
And speaking of music, I have found a song that really has inspired me with its lyrics and by the voice of the singer. And since this will be my last post for this blog (I'm thinking I might do another blog on here, but not sure yet. Still undecided) I decided that this song would be very fitting for finishing up this blog. It's only been the first day of classes, and I haven't even really begun all my classes yet (tomorrow is when I have most of my classes. Tuesdays and Thursdays will be my busiest this semester) but even still, after just the first day of going back to classes, I can already tell that this semester will be interesting, both in a good way and a bad way. Sorry this post is so short, but I don't really have a lot to say at the moment. And this is where the power of music comes in. Everything that I want to say right now is all in this song. I love when that happens; finding that one song that says everything you're wanting to say. And so, here it is, my dear readers. By Leona Lewis, here is the song "Happy".
Monday, August 29, 2011
Thursday, August 25, 2011
"The Voice", School, Dance, and Other Stuff
So, I am disappointed to say that I didn't make it through the first round of auditions for "The Voice". I kind of figured that would happen anyway, so it wasn't that big of a let down for me. "American Idol" is having their auditions this week, and I had thought about going to audition, but I don't think I will. For one, I've never watched "American Idol". Don't want to, and don't really plan to, so it would be kind of weird for me to go audition for a show I don't even watch. My main reason though is that they have posted several times in their rules and eligibility forms that not everyone who registers will get to audition on the audition day, so I'm worried that I will have spent $20 for parking at the Reliant Center and wasted an entire day sitting around, waiting for my chance to audition... and then be told that they don't have time to see me. And, also, there's school. I would be really far behind in school if I made it on the show (which, it would take a miracle of God for me to get on that show, let alone any other singing TV show) but if that miracle of God DID happen, I would be missing so much school in order to be there to tape the shows and everything. So yeah, I don't think I'm going to go for that. It's not really worth my time. Still not sure if I'm going to do it or not, but I'm leaning more toward not.
Anyway, school starts next Monday! I, personally, am very excited; new music building, new student center, new classes, new books, some new clothes (some, not a lot, but enough to make a girl feel a little more confident in herself... especially when it comes to attracting the the fellas ;-) hahaha!) I got my 6 books that I will need for this semester (yeah, 6, can you believe that?! 3 for English, 2 for math and 1 for ballet. Crazy.) And I decided today that I would register for a seventh class (I was just taking 6; Math, English, Ballet, Music Lit, Chamber Singers and voice lessons) but upon the encouragement of a school friend and my mom, I decided to register for Dance Performance, where I'll be able to participate in being part of dance routines and then putting on a performance toward the end of the semester for the public. I have to say, I'm nervous and excited. Dance has just recently become a new passion of mine, but I've never really performed a dance in front of people (and no, showchoir with Joyful Sound doesn't really count) so I don't really know what to expect from myself or from the class, but I know that I need to take this class. If I'm going to major in Musical Theater, I need to be able to perform dance in front of an audience and feel comfortable doing it.
I'm really looking forward to this new semester. It's amazing how much a person can change in just the span of one year. I've changed so much since last year, and I've experienced a lot too, more than I ever thought I would experience. And when we moved back to Texas after living in Michigan for 6 years, I never could have predicted that any of the things that I've done and experienced would happen to me. For example, if I hadn't moved to Texas, there's a good chance I never would have been given the chance to get to be in musicals and to discover that I have a gift at acting. I've also made so many good, close friends here, people who I now believe that I could never live without, and I wonder what my life would be like now if we hadn't moved back to Texas back in 2006. What if we had stayed in Michigan? Who would I be? Would I be the same person I am today? I think it's safe to say, no, I wouldn't be. For instance, I could be dead. When we moved down to Texas, it was only a year later that I was put into treatment for anorexia, but then when I got out of Cadwalder after 81 days, my mom told me about auditions for a pirate musical called "The Swarthy Seadog", and as they say, the rest is history.
Well, I guess I'll end it here for tonight. I'm hoping to finish this blog soon and begin working on the other blog a little more so I can start posting in it ASAP. Until next time, ciao!
Anyway, school starts next Monday! I, personally, am very excited; new music building, new student center, new classes, new books, some new clothes (some, not a lot, but enough to make a girl feel a little more confident in herself... especially when it comes to attracting the the fellas ;-) hahaha!) I got my 6 books that I will need for this semester (yeah, 6, can you believe that?! 3 for English, 2 for math and 1 for ballet. Crazy.) And I decided today that I would register for a seventh class (I was just taking 6; Math, English, Ballet, Music Lit, Chamber Singers and voice lessons) but upon the encouragement of a school friend and my mom, I decided to register for Dance Performance, where I'll be able to participate in being part of dance routines and then putting on a performance toward the end of the semester for the public. I have to say, I'm nervous and excited. Dance has just recently become a new passion of mine, but I've never really performed a dance in front of people (and no, showchoir with Joyful Sound doesn't really count) so I don't really know what to expect from myself or from the class, but I know that I need to take this class. If I'm going to major in Musical Theater, I need to be able to perform dance in front of an audience and feel comfortable doing it.
I'm really looking forward to this new semester. It's amazing how much a person can change in just the span of one year. I've changed so much since last year, and I've experienced a lot too, more than I ever thought I would experience. And when we moved back to Texas after living in Michigan for 6 years, I never could have predicted that any of the things that I've done and experienced would happen to me. For example, if I hadn't moved to Texas, there's a good chance I never would have been given the chance to get to be in musicals and to discover that I have a gift at acting. I've also made so many good, close friends here, people who I now believe that I could never live without, and I wonder what my life would be like now if we hadn't moved back to Texas back in 2006. What if we had stayed in Michigan? Who would I be? Would I be the same person I am today? I think it's safe to say, no, I wouldn't be. For instance, I could be dead. When we moved down to Texas, it was only a year later that I was put into treatment for anorexia, but then when I got out of Cadwalder after 81 days, my mom told me about auditions for a pirate musical called "The Swarthy Seadog", and as they say, the rest is history.
Well, I guess I'll end it here for tonight. I'm hoping to finish this blog soon and begin working on the other blog a little more so I can start posting in it ASAP. Until next time, ciao!
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
New Blog, School, Dance, "The Voice" and Love
I'm getting close to finishing up this blog, and I've already got another blog currently in the works. It won't be here on Blogger though. I've found a different site for blogging, and even though I love Blogger I've decided to try this one and see how I like it. At the moment, I'm still trying to figure out how to customize it (it's more complicated than Blogger, so I might not stick with it for long.) So yeah, be on the look for that. If you are my friend on Facebook and you use FB to read my blog posts, I'll post a link on there when I've gotten the first post up. Hopefully I'll be more consistent with my posting for this new blog, since this summer I kind of slacked off on actually writing posts. I'm hoping that with school coming up soon I'll have more to talk about (my schedule, at the moment, is mostly wide open. I'm not taking as many courses in the fall, but I'm thinking that my activities outside of school will be keeping me pretty busy. Not sure what all I'll be doing outside of school, but I'm hoping to audition for Opera Leggera at the Nathaniel Center, and also I'm hoping to have another job, plus I'm wanting to be part of more dance things at the college. Yeah, this semester could be really busy, hahaha.)
Speaking of school, I can't wait for classes to start! I've been pretty bored this summer, with the exception of 'Carmen', so I will be welcoming school with open arms... until it gets close to midterms and finals. Then I won't be so happy to be in school, hahaha! Also, it's going to feel weird; Mitchell, one of our best tenors in Chamber Singers, is going off to Oklahoma State University, along with Anthony and Chelsey. I'm going to miss Mitchell :-( we all are. He's such nice guy; fun, funny, and a good singer. But, he'll be back during Christmas break so I'm sure I'll get to see him then. Also, we're getting the new music building, so that's definitely something to look forward to. But do you know what I really can't wait for? Ballet class. Yep, I have most definitely missed doing ballet this summer, so I can't wait to start up again in the fall. I never thought that I would like doing ballet, but now that I've got my dream of becoming a star on Broadway, the ability to be able to dance has suddenly become very important to me. I want to be a Triple Threat (that means, a person who can act, sing AND dance. If you can do all three of those, you can really go places in the musical industry.)
So, guess what? I've got an audition for NBC's newest talent competition show "The Voice". I'm not sure how many of you have heard of it or seen it, but you should check it out some time. It's brand new, they just finished with their first Season, and this Wednesday they are coming to Houston to hold auditions for Season 2. I have to be honest; I'm freaking out. I'm so nervous about this! Basically, I'm auditioning to audition to be on the show... if that makes any sense. I have to audition for the producers and other people who run the show, and then if I make it through the open auditions, I could get a callback, and if I make it through the callbacks, then I'll be going on the TV show. But first, I just want to make it through the first round of auditions. I have to prepare 2 a cappella songs to sing, and I've decided on singing "People" and "My Man" by Barbra Streisand. Yeah, I realize it's probably risky going with Barbra. After all, she's a legend! But those 2 songs are really good for my voice and they really show off my range, plus I love the lyrics and I can sing those songs right from my heart.
And now, that crazy little thing called Love. As I sit here, trying to figure out exactly what to say, I can't help but think about what happened a year ago this month. Thinking about it brings back a lot of memories; painful memories. Memories that, no matter how hard you try, no matter what you do to try and erase them from your mind you just can't rid yourself of them. Maybe years from now I'll forget everything... or not. You would have thought that after a year I would have gotten through this. On the contrary. Sure, the pain is not as intense as it was a year ago. A year ago, I found myself going into a downward spiral, fighting off depression and trying to move through the initial stages of grief. Now I'm okay... mostly. Yes, the feelings I had for him are gone, that's for sure. But the hurt is still there, waiting in the darkest corners of my mind. It's like a cottonmouth snake. You're walking along, not a care in the world, when suddenly BAM! You're face-to-face with a white mouth and fangs, ready to inject its poison into you if you take another step (this actually happened to me a few months ago. Ran into a cottonmouth while I was walking along the shore of Lake Houston. Scared the hell out of me, and I ran away from that thing as fast as I could. After my heart stopped pounding, however, I kind of wanting to go back and get a better look at it, but then I realize that I was not Steve Irwin so I probably shouldn't.)
Anyway, snakes aside, as I stated in my last 2 posts, I have found myself once again bitten by the Love Bug. It's funny how you can find love in that one person you never expected to have feelings for. It was never supposed to happen; I was never supposed to have feelings for this person. But, as a series of events came along, I suddenly found myself constantly thinking about him, talking about him, and even having some dreams about him. Before I knew what was happening, I had completely fallen for the guy. It's hard to tell if he feels the same way; guys are hard to read most of the time. But I'm sure time will reveal everything. It usually does, for better or for worse. But I hope it's for better, hahaha :-)
Well, I guess that's it for now. I've got my audition for "The Voice" tomorrow, and it still hasn't quite sunk it that I'm actually going to audition for a TV singing competition, but I'm sure it will once I get to the audition and I'm singing in front of the producers of the show. Then I'll be thinking "Oh God... I'm ACTUALLY doing this..." And then I'll start freaking out, hahaha! Anyway, I guess I'll go for now. I'll be sure to post later on this week if I make it to the callbacks. Until then, later!
Speaking of school, I can't wait for classes to start! I've been pretty bored this summer, with the exception of 'Carmen', so I will be welcoming school with open arms... until it gets close to midterms and finals. Then I won't be so happy to be in school, hahaha! Also, it's going to feel weird; Mitchell, one of our best tenors in Chamber Singers, is going off to Oklahoma State University, along with Anthony and Chelsey. I'm going to miss Mitchell :-( we all are. He's such nice guy; fun, funny, and a good singer. But, he'll be back during Christmas break so I'm sure I'll get to see him then. Also, we're getting the new music building, so that's definitely something to look forward to. But do you know what I really can't wait for? Ballet class. Yep, I have most definitely missed doing ballet this summer, so I can't wait to start up again in the fall. I never thought that I would like doing ballet, but now that I've got my dream of becoming a star on Broadway, the ability to be able to dance has suddenly become very important to me. I want to be a Triple Threat (that means, a person who can act, sing AND dance. If you can do all three of those, you can really go places in the musical industry.)
So, guess what? I've got an audition for NBC's newest talent competition show "The Voice". I'm not sure how many of you have heard of it or seen it, but you should check it out some time. It's brand new, they just finished with their first Season, and this Wednesday they are coming to Houston to hold auditions for Season 2. I have to be honest; I'm freaking out. I'm so nervous about this! Basically, I'm auditioning to audition to be on the show... if that makes any sense. I have to audition for the producers and other people who run the show, and then if I make it through the open auditions, I could get a callback, and if I make it through the callbacks, then I'll be going on the TV show. But first, I just want to make it through the first round of auditions. I have to prepare 2 a cappella songs to sing, and I've decided on singing "People" and "My Man" by Barbra Streisand. Yeah, I realize it's probably risky going with Barbra. After all, she's a legend! But those 2 songs are really good for my voice and they really show off my range, plus I love the lyrics and I can sing those songs right from my heart.
And now, that crazy little thing called Love. As I sit here, trying to figure out exactly what to say, I can't help but think about what happened a year ago this month. Thinking about it brings back a lot of memories; painful memories. Memories that, no matter how hard you try, no matter what you do to try and erase them from your mind you just can't rid yourself of them. Maybe years from now I'll forget everything... or not. You would have thought that after a year I would have gotten through this. On the contrary. Sure, the pain is not as intense as it was a year ago. A year ago, I found myself going into a downward spiral, fighting off depression and trying to move through the initial stages of grief. Now I'm okay... mostly. Yes, the feelings I had for him are gone, that's for sure. But the hurt is still there, waiting in the darkest corners of my mind. It's like a cottonmouth snake. You're walking along, not a care in the world, when suddenly BAM! You're face-to-face with a white mouth and fangs, ready to inject its poison into you if you take another step (this actually happened to me a few months ago. Ran into a cottonmouth while I was walking along the shore of Lake Houston. Scared the hell out of me, and I ran away from that thing as fast as I could. After my heart stopped pounding, however, I kind of wanting to go back and get a better look at it, but then I realize that I was not Steve Irwin so I probably shouldn't.)
Anyway, snakes aside, as I stated in my last 2 posts, I have found myself once again bitten by the Love Bug. It's funny how you can find love in that one person you never expected to have feelings for. It was never supposed to happen; I was never supposed to have feelings for this person. But, as a series of events came along, I suddenly found myself constantly thinking about him, talking about him, and even having some dreams about him. Before I knew what was happening, I had completely fallen for the guy. It's hard to tell if he feels the same way; guys are hard to read most of the time. But I'm sure time will reveal everything. It usually does, for better or for worse. But I hope it's for better, hahaha :-)
Well, I guess that's it for now. I've got my audition for "The Voice" tomorrow, and it still hasn't quite sunk it that I'm actually going to audition for a TV singing competition, but I'm sure it will once I get to the audition and I'm singing in front of the producers of the show. Then I'll be thinking "Oh God... I'm ACTUALLY doing this..." And then I'll start freaking out, hahaha! Anyway, I guess I'll go for now. I'll be sure to post later on this week if I make it to the callbacks. Until then, later!
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
I Can't Believe My Heart
So, I stumbled upon this song the other day, and now it's been added to my list of favorites, hahaha. I'm sure at least some of you have either heard of or seen the Disney movie 'Hercules'. Well, this song was apparently supposed to be the song that Meg was going to sing instead of the infamous 'I Won't Say I'm In Love', but because it's a ballad, the producers claimed that Meg wasn't a ballad type of girl. I don't care what the producers or anyone thinks, this song is beautiful! And so, here ya go! The deleted song from Disney's animated motion picture, 'Hercules'.
Sunday, August 7, 2011
Facing The Truth
It's time to face that one thing that all of us fear. That one thing that none of us really want to face. It's time to look it straight in the eye and hold your ground. It's time to face facts. It's time to bring all anger, bitterness, rage, malice, wrath, hurt, pain and any and all forms of hatred to an end. It's time we faced our giants, our fears, our boogeymen hiding under our beds, and our worst nightmares. It's time to realize the truth. Yes, my friends, the truth. The total, absolute, complete and utter truth. I've had to face the truth about something very painful and personal tonight. In fact, I'm facing it right now, even as I type this.
It's hurting. It's killing me. It's hell. But I have to do it. Face the truth. Face the facts. I've learned something tonight about someone. And it's killing me. I can almost feel my heart screaming in pain as the flames of truth burn it alive. They say that the truth hurts, but they never said that it could kill you. And the thing is, what I'm learning right now shouldn't even be having any kind of affect on me. After all, it's over. It's been over for a year now. That chapter of my life is closed, or should I say, he closed it for me, before I even could get to the end of the first chapter. I never did get to see how that story would have ended. I'm currently listening to "The Book of My Life" by Sting and the lyrics ring very true, especially in this moment as I'm letting the truth settle in. It's not easy, I can assure you.
It's not easy to read about how your first love has moved on and found love in someone else. It's not easy to read about how happy he is now without me. It's not easy to know that, just a year ago, that was me that he he supposedly "cared about". It's not easy to read the words that he has typed about how he feels about her, about how he's falling in love with her. It's killing me. Yes, I know, it's been a year now. Yes, I know now that it never would have worked between us. We both wanted different things in life, and I'm one hundred percent sure that we both still do. Yes, we haven't actually spoken face-to-face in I don't know how many months now. Yes, I'm completely and totally in love with another man now, a man who is everything I've ever wanted and more. Yes, all of these facts are true. And yet...Why does the truth hurt so much?
Maybe it hurts because he was my first. He was the first kiss, the first boyfriend, the first everything. And, if you asked certain people, I'm pretty sure that these certain would tell you that he was the first guy I ever loved. Apparently I was head over heels in love with him, but I just can't seem to go back to the days I spent with him. Sure, a few stick out in my memory and those always will, but everything else is blank. Maybe it's because I've hidden everything else in that little box of memories in my mind that is pushed to the very, very, VERY back of my mind, that box that I don't want to open ever again. Other memories are there too; memories of CBC, of my years struggling with anorexia. You know, those memories that are too painful to go back and visit because you know that if you do, you'll break down, cry and scream because it hurts too much, it kills you to go back to that dark place.
At this moment, it's 10:09 PM on a Sunday night. I'm sitting alone in my living room, with Sting and the TV as my only companions. Everyone else is sleeping in my house. No one knows of the truth that I've just learned, of the pain that my heart is enduring for the sake of moving on with my life. I tried to tell myself, "Just read it, go ahead. Maybe this will help you move on. He's obviously moved on, and what about you? Isn't it time you moved on and let go? This will help, surely it will." Yes, I'm sure it will, in time. But right now, it's killing me. I'm having to force myself to read the post, re-reading all the words that are like daggers in my heart. Words like "love", "us", "together", "proud". And there's a small mention of me, but my name isn't there, no. I'm simply the "last girlfriend". So, that's all I am now. That's all I'll ever be to him. I'm not a name, I'm not Erin. I'm simply the "last girlfriend". Want to know how that makes me feel? Well, right now I'm thinking some not so nice words, and I'm wanting to scream, rip my hair out and cry. That's what part of me wants to do, in all honesty. But I won't do that, nope.
I'm simply going to let it all sink in, listen to "The Book of My Life" a couple more times, then I'm going to go get ready for bed and watch Animal Planet, or maybe Nick at Nite or the History Channel, and then I'm going to sleep and wake up tomorrow and live my life. Yeah, it's not going to be easy. It hasn't been easy to live my life ever since the break up. But, I don't really have a choice, do I? I can either choose to continue to live my life the way I think I should, or I can stop living. There's no other choice. And I've got too much to live for to stop living, so I think I'll keep on keeping on.
Well, I guess it's about time to start settling down for the night. I actually get to sleep in tomorrow, hahaha! That will be nice. Good night, everyone!
It's hurting. It's killing me. It's hell. But I have to do it. Face the truth. Face the facts. I've learned something tonight about someone. And it's killing me. I can almost feel my heart screaming in pain as the flames of truth burn it alive. They say that the truth hurts, but they never said that it could kill you. And the thing is, what I'm learning right now shouldn't even be having any kind of affect on me. After all, it's over. It's been over for a year now. That chapter of my life is closed, or should I say, he closed it for me, before I even could get to the end of the first chapter. I never did get to see how that story would have ended. I'm currently listening to "The Book of My Life" by Sting and the lyrics ring very true, especially in this moment as I'm letting the truth settle in. It's not easy, I can assure you.
It's not easy to read about how your first love has moved on and found love in someone else. It's not easy to read about how happy he is now without me. It's not easy to know that, just a year ago, that was me that he he supposedly "cared about". It's not easy to read the words that he has typed about how he feels about her, about how he's falling in love with her. It's killing me. Yes, I know, it's been a year now. Yes, I know now that it never would have worked between us. We both wanted different things in life, and I'm one hundred percent sure that we both still do. Yes, we haven't actually spoken face-to-face in I don't know how many months now. Yes, I'm completely and totally in love with another man now, a man who is everything I've ever wanted and more. Yes, all of these facts are true. And yet...Why does the truth hurt so much?
Maybe it hurts because he was my first. He was the first kiss, the first boyfriend, the first everything. And, if you asked certain people, I'm pretty sure that these certain would tell you that he was the first guy I ever loved. Apparently I was head over heels in love with him, but I just can't seem to go back to the days I spent with him. Sure, a few stick out in my memory and those always will, but everything else is blank. Maybe it's because I've hidden everything else in that little box of memories in my mind that is pushed to the very, very, VERY back of my mind, that box that I don't want to open ever again. Other memories are there too; memories of CBC, of my years struggling with anorexia. You know, those memories that are too painful to go back and visit because you know that if you do, you'll break down, cry and scream because it hurts too much, it kills you to go back to that dark place.
At this moment, it's 10:09 PM on a Sunday night. I'm sitting alone in my living room, with Sting and the TV as my only companions. Everyone else is sleeping in my house. No one knows of the truth that I've just learned, of the pain that my heart is enduring for the sake of moving on with my life. I tried to tell myself, "Just read it, go ahead. Maybe this will help you move on. He's obviously moved on, and what about you? Isn't it time you moved on and let go? This will help, surely it will." Yes, I'm sure it will, in time. But right now, it's killing me. I'm having to force myself to read the post, re-reading all the words that are like daggers in my heart. Words like "love", "us", "together", "proud". And there's a small mention of me, but my name isn't there, no. I'm simply the "last girlfriend". So, that's all I am now. That's all I'll ever be to him. I'm not a name, I'm not Erin. I'm simply the "last girlfriend". Want to know how that makes me feel? Well, right now I'm thinking some not so nice words, and I'm wanting to scream, rip my hair out and cry. That's what part of me wants to do, in all honesty. But I won't do that, nope.
I'm simply going to let it all sink in, listen to "The Book of My Life" a couple more times, then I'm going to go get ready for bed and watch Animal Planet, or maybe Nick at Nite or the History Channel, and then I'm going to sleep and wake up tomorrow and live my life. Yeah, it's not going to be easy. It hasn't been easy to live my life ever since the break up. But, I don't really have a choice, do I? I can either choose to continue to live my life the way I think I should, or I can stop living. There's no other choice. And I've got too much to live for to stop living, so I think I'll keep on keeping on.
Well, I guess it's about time to start settling down for the night. I actually get to sleep in tomorrow, hahaha! That will be nice. Good night, everyone!
The Book of My Life
Well, this blog is almost finished, since I'm only five more posts away from 100 posts. Don't know yet if I'll write a third one or what I'll call it if I do write another one, but I'll figure that out when the times comes, if it does. Anyway, the summer is almost over, thank goodness. This has probably been one of the worst summers ever, mainly because dad still hasn't found a job (well, he DID find one, but then about a week after he started, the company had to close down, so then it was back to square one), and we have had more car problems this summer than I can begin to count. We have now lost the Lumina, the blue car that I have been driving since I got my license. There were too many problems that needed to be fixed and it would have cost more to fix it than what the car is actually worth, so we're just going to scrap it, get what we can for it and start looking for another car for me. The only good thing I had this summer was 'Carmen'. That saved me. If it hadn't been for going to rehearsals 3 days a week, I know I would have completely lost whatever sanity I have left in me.
I've been thinking about a lot of things lately; work, money, and my future mostly. At the moment, my future is a blank canvas. I don't know what is going to happen. Sure, I have some plans, but nothing ever goes completely according to plan. That's just how life is, and I'm starting to realize that. The way the world is right now, everything looks very bleak and ominous; nothing is sure, nothing certain but death and nothing is stable and strong. Everything breaks, ends, dies. Nothing is sacred anymore. Everywhere I go these days it seems that everyone is depressed or stressing about something. No one is happy, and nothing is good. There is no good news, there is no joy or happiness; only depression, sadness, sorrow, death, failure, stress, poverty, hunger, thirst, you name it. But there is no joy. Everyone is affected by the bleak economy, even the rich. There is no silver lining, no rainbow after the rain; only never ending storms and black clouds.
There's a lot more things I've been thinking about, or rather I should say, there's a couple people I've been thinking about a lot lately, one in particular. However, due to unforeseen circumstances, I will refrain from speaking about this person, although I'm sure everyone knows already who that person is. Either way, I will refrain from talking about this person in any more of my posts. Simple as that. By the way, I'm in love. Yep, you read that correctly. I'm in love. And that, my dear readers, is as much as I'm going to say. But, yes, I am in love. And I must say that, despite all of the chaos, the anxiety, the depression, the sadness, and everything bad or horrible in this world these days, all of that fades away when I'm with this person (yes, this person is a guy, just to clarify for those of you who were perhaps wondering, hahaha. Yeah, I don't swing that way.) I have this feeling of completion when I'm with this person, like I've found my missing puzzle piece. And, now I will talk no more of this person. I can't. Not because I don't want to, but because there are persons that have forced me to refrain from posting about this particular person.
Anyway, I've also been listening to a variety of music lately; French love songs, songs by Sting, classic Disney songs, songs from 'Les Miserables', basically a very strange variety. I suppose it's because I'm becoming more aware of how music affects my life, my thoughts, my emotions. It affects you more than you realize; a certain song will give you certain thoughts, different memories, different emotions, and another song will give you another set of certain thoughts, memories and emotions. It's quite amazing, really. Simple, but amazing. Music is becoming more of my passion rather than just a hobby. Sure, music has always been my first love, but now I'm starting to feel consumed by it, in a good way. I wouldn't want it any other way. Music is now touching every area of my life, personal and social life. Songs, lyrics, melodies, all of it swirls around in my head throughout the day, and I'm slowly beginning to use songs to say things if I find that I have no words that I can use to express what I'm feeling. Some would say this is a dangerous place to be, but I find it to be very exciting, exhilarating. After all, music is my life. It's what I've always wanted. And it will always be a major part of my life.
Wow, I've said a lot, for someone who hasn't posted in forever! Well, I've got a couple songs I want to share with you. The first 2 are in French, and sorry they don't have the English translation with it, but the music itself is so beautiful that you probably won't even care about what the words mean, haha. The third one is a song by Sting, and it is the reason behind this post title. I highly, highly, HIGHLY recommend that you take a listen to this song. The lyrics are very powerful, and they can and do apply to everyone, no matter who you are. It may not be your type of music, but I suggest you take a listen anyway. I've never heard a song like this before, one that has touched me so personally. It's hard to explain exactly what this song has done to me; it's something you have to experience for yourself, and maybe it won't affect you the way it has me but I think you should still listen, at least once. I think the lyrics basically sum up everything about life.
Well, I guess that's it for now, dear readers. Hopefully I'll be able to write more once school gets closer (I go back on August 29th.) Ciao! :-)
I've been thinking about a lot of things lately; work, money, and my future mostly. At the moment, my future is a blank canvas. I don't know what is going to happen. Sure, I have some plans, but nothing ever goes completely according to plan. That's just how life is, and I'm starting to realize that. The way the world is right now, everything looks very bleak and ominous; nothing is sure, nothing certain but death and nothing is stable and strong. Everything breaks, ends, dies. Nothing is sacred anymore. Everywhere I go these days it seems that everyone is depressed or stressing about something. No one is happy, and nothing is good. There is no good news, there is no joy or happiness; only depression, sadness, sorrow, death, failure, stress, poverty, hunger, thirst, you name it. But there is no joy. Everyone is affected by the bleak economy, even the rich. There is no silver lining, no rainbow after the rain; only never ending storms and black clouds.
There's a lot more things I've been thinking about, or rather I should say, there's a couple people I've been thinking about a lot lately, one in particular. However, due to unforeseen circumstances, I will refrain from speaking about this person, although I'm sure everyone knows already who that person is. Either way, I will refrain from talking about this person in any more of my posts. Simple as that. By the way, I'm in love. Yep, you read that correctly. I'm in love. And that, my dear readers, is as much as I'm going to say. But, yes, I am in love. And I must say that, despite all of the chaos, the anxiety, the depression, the sadness, and everything bad or horrible in this world these days, all of that fades away when I'm with this person (yes, this person is a guy, just to clarify for those of you who were perhaps wondering, hahaha. Yeah, I don't swing that way.) I have this feeling of completion when I'm with this person, like I've found my missing puzzle piece. And, now I will talk no more of this person. I can't. Not because I don't want to, but because there are persons that have forced me to refrain from posting about this particular person.
Anyway, I've also been listening to a variety of music lately; French love songs, songs by Sting, classic Disney songs, songs from 'Les Miserables', basically a very strange variety. I suppose it's because I'm becoming more aware of how music affects my life, my thoughts, my emotions. It affects you more than you realize; a certain song will give you certain thoughts, different memories, different emotions, and another song will give you another set of certain thoughts, memories and emotions. It's quite amazing, really. Simple, but amazing. Music is becoming more of my passion rather than just a hobby. Sure, music has always been my first love, but now I'm starting to feel consumed by it, in a good way. I wouldn't want it any other way. Music is now touching every area of my life, personal and social life. Songs, lyrics, melodies, all of it swirls around in my head throughout the day, and I'm slowly beginning to use songs to say things if I find that I have no words that I can use to express what I'm feeling. Some would say this is a dangerous place to be, but I find it to be very exciting, exhilarating. After all, music is my life. It's what I've always wanted. And it will always be a major part of my life.
Wow, I've said a lot, for someone who hasn't posted in forever! Well, I've got a couple songs I want to share with you. The first 2 are in French, and sorry they don't have the English translation with it, but the music itself is so beautiful that you probably won't even care about what the words mean, haha. The third one is a song by Sting, and it is the reason behind this post title. I highly, highly, HIGHLY recommend that you take a listen to this song. The lyrics are very powerful, and they can and do apply to everyone, no matter who you are. It may not be your type of music, but I suggest you take a listen anyway. I've never heard a song like this before, one that has touched me so personally. It's hard to explain exactly what this song has done to me; it's something you have to experience for yourself, and maybe it won't affect you the way it has me but I think you should still listen, at least once. I think the lyrics basically sum up everything about life.
Well, I guess that's it for now, dear readers. Hopefully I'll be able to write more once school gets closer (I go back on August 29th.) Ciao! :-)
Sunday, July 24, 2011
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