Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Confessions of a 'Wicked' Girl

Sometimes I wish I was a kid again... A scrapped knee is a lot easier to fix than a broken heart.

Life was easier when boys had cooties.

It's much easier to fake a smile than to explain what you really feel inside.

Sometimes music is all you need.

Music is the only thing that makes sense.

Don't fall in love. Fall off a bridge. It hurts less.

Music is my escape; from all the lies, all the drama, all the confusion, and all the hurt. Music is my escape from reality.

A real girl isn't perfect, and a perfect girl isn't real.

I never stop thinking about you.

I still can't shake that feeling of wanting nothing but you.

I'm wanted by many, taken by none, looking at some, but waiting for one.

I'm not afraid to love, I'm afraid of not being loved back.

I'm only me when I'm with you.

They say you don't know what you have until it's gone. Truth is, you knew what you had... you just didn't think you would ever lose it.

Tears are words too painful for a broken heart to speak.

I may not be perfect, but I'm always me.

I believe in using songs to say things.

I don't fall in love easily, but when I do, I fall hard and I fall fast. So if you're not planning on catching me, don't make me fall for you.

I'm a lover, not a fighter, but I will fight for who and what I love.

"I'm strong, but I break. I'm stubborn, and I make plenty of mistakes. Yeah I'm hard, and life with me is never easy to figure out, to love, I'm jaded but oh so lovely... I'm confusing as hell. I'm north and south. And I'll probably never have it all figured out... " (lyrics from "Maybe" by Kelly Clarkson)

I love the rain. It's calming, soothing and makes me feel very content and at peace.

I love the woods. It's where I go for peace and quiet, to get away from the hustle and bustle of life and to distract myself from the chaos and confusion of humanity.

I tend to get along better with animals than I do people. People are judgmental, and animals will love you unconditionally. People hurt you, but animals have no end to their love. If you're looking for true love, look in the eyes of a dog or cat.

I don't believe that "true love" exists anymore. "True love" is unconditional; no limits, no bounds, no restrictions. Humans are not capable of loving someone unconditionally. Everyone has limits on their love for others. The limits will vary from person to person, but there are still limits. It may take a lot to reach beyond the limits of someone's love, but the limits are still there, and once you cross those limits, that person will not be able to love you anymore. They cannot and they will not love you beyond their limitations. That is why I don't believe that "true love" exists.

I bottle up my emotions and problems. I don't open up verbally to a lot of people, which is why it's far easier for me to write about my problems and emotions than it is for me to verbally communicate them.

There are few people who I feel I can actually trust.

I still have trouble trying to be friends with my first ex, Mark. Travis, however, I have no problem being friends with. Mostly, I think it's because I was completely devastated when Mark broke up with me; he was my first boyfriend, my first love, my first kiss. He meant everything to me. When Travis and I broke up, I was hurt but I knew that I would have to be okay with him, because I would be seeing him five days week at school, so I knew that I would have to get over him. Mark was, and still is, a different story.

Truth is: you're the reason I don't believe in love anymore.

My biggest mistake wasn't falling for you. It was thinking you had fallen for me too.

In the end, it all comes down to the fact that I care too much, and you didn't care enough.

I am not a backup plan, and I definitely not a second choice.

Your worst battle is between what you know and how you feel.

"It seems every time I find a good man, he's got a good little wife! I'm not jealous, but I won't lie, I don't wanna hear about your wonderful life!" (lyrics from "How I Feel" by Kelly Clarkson)

Sometimes I really wish I was a kid again, back in the days when: boys had cooties, you got "drunk" off of Capri Sun and Kool-Aid, you didn't care about watching your figure, working out was playing outside in the backyard all day long, and the only drama you had to deal with was if someone stole your crayons. I miss being a kid.

They say that Disney World is the happiest place on earth. Obviously, they've never been in your arms. 

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