So... I'm turning 21 tomorrow. It's crazy. It seems like only yesterday that I was just a carefree, innocent and naive little kid without a care in the world. And now, I'm almost an adult; I'm a Sophomore in college, I'm studying what I love, but now I've got more problems than any girl should ever have to deal with. Why do we have to grow up? Why can't we just stay as children, innocent and carefree? Life would be so much more peaceful, less stressful and there would be a lot more happiness in the world.Yeah sure, being an adult had it's perks, but I'm starting to see that being an adult has a lot more negative aspects than positive. But, then again, being a kid also has it's ups and downs too, so I suppose there really is no middle ground. That sucks.
I've also come to the conclusion that there is something wrong with Love. Yes, Love. And I think Kelly Clarkson hit it right on target when she wrote that song (God, I freaking LOVE Kelly Clarkson!) Anyway, for the last 2 days, I've been listening to nothing BUT Kelly Clarkson songs. It's always great to listen to songs that describe exactly how you're feeling, especially when it comes to matters of the heart, or, more like, matters of the broken heart. See, this is one of the many things that is wrong about Love. It's such an amazing feeling; you feel like you're flying, like you're on top of the world, like you're walking on the clouds, and nothing can bring you down. But... then, it's over, and all you can do is cry; you feel like you're dying, you feel like your heart is being ripped out and being smashed to pieces, and all you want to do is curl up into a ball and fade away into nothing. How can something so wonderful, so beautiful, cause so much pain? I don't understand.
And so, your heart is broken, and now you want nothing more to do with Love. You decide that never again will you give your heart away, never again will you let yourself feel that way for anyone. You vow to never let anyone into your heart and life, and you convince yourself that you don't need anyone. And then, before you know it, Love is calling your name again, and you just can't resist. It's like an abusive relationship. The guy beats his girl until she's half dead, she leaves, but then he comes back and says he's changed, so she goes back to him... only to have him beat her again. That's how Love has been treating me lately, and I can't resist it when he calls me back. I wish that I could just say no, to have nothing more to do with Love and forget it ever existed. But, I know I can't. Love will call me back, sooner than I think, and I won't be able to resist, and then I'll just end up getting hurt again. It's a vicious cycle, but I can't get out of it. I'll never be able to get out of it. Man, that sucks.
So yeah, take a listen to this song. To me, music speaks louder than just simple words.
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