Andando sotto

So, basically, life is still complicated. I still don't know what Nathan wants (if he even wants anything. I don't know anymore) and I'm tired of waiting on him to answer me. I understand the position he's in; I know what it feels like to not know if you're ready to be back in a relationship again, especially if the last one ended badly (I don't fully know the details of his last relationship or how it ended, so I'm going to assume that it ended badly somehow in some way) and I also know what it's like to feel the pressure of having to give someone an answer about whether or not you want to be in a relationship with them. I have been on both sides of this situation: I know what it's like to be the one who is having to GIVE the answer, and I know what it's like to be the one who is WAITING ON the answer. But... I need an answer. I can't keep living in this uncertainty, and I definitely can't begin to imagine what the next semester could bring if he still doesn't give me an answer... but, then again, I also can imagine what the next semester will be like if he does give me an answer, but it's not the answer I want.

Anyway, I am still determined to talk to him about this. And when I say talk, I mean SERIOUSLY talk. No distractions, no events to go to, nothing that would cause us to be on a timeline. I need him to sit still long enough for us to figure this out, and for him to understand where I'm coming from, and I want to hear his side of the story too. I want to know what he's thinking, and how he sees this. Well, that's about it for now. I've got finals this week. Math and Theory final tomorrow, my voice jury is on Tuesday, and my Ear Training/Sight Singing final and Music Lit final is on Wednesday, and on Wednesday *drum roll* IT'S MY BIRTHDAY, AND I'M GONNA BE 21!!! :-D :-D :-D WOOHOO!!!! PARTY TIME!!!!! and yes, I am having a party :-) my best friend Brittney is letting me have it at her place, and my parents are taking me to go get a drink on Wednesday :-) I am so excited! Well, I'll leave you, my dear readers, with this song. Just kind of how I'm feeling about the whole Nathan thing. enjoy.